Life...and its purpose

Yesterday, I spent the rest of my evening, after work, at K.Ana's house with her kids and parents.K.Ana and Abg Ise is on "honeymoon" / business trip to Gold Coast. I'm supposed to help out Abang (if he needs any) for his test which is just a few days away. Along is also having her exams (no - I can't help you with Add Maths or science subjects, sorry)Hope with my presence will motivate you to study...hehehe . Since it was raining really heaving with thunder and lightning (which prevented me to work on my gals' training plan on the PC), all of us sat in the kitchen while eating dinner and just lepak there till the thunderstorm stopped at about 8.30pm.

Then, I received a call from a friend. The conversation went like this:

Him: Assalamualaikum..apa khabar?
Me: Waalaikumsalam....baik. camne ? Sihat ke?
Him : Sihat.
Me: Kat mana ni ? kat Kem PLKN ke? tak sibuk?(he is the ketua Jurulatih for one of the PLKN camp)
Him: tak delah I dah temporary quit.
Me: What do you mean by temporary? Tak habiskan the whole session of 3 months tu?
Him: aahh..tak. Boringlah. I got problem now. Can't concentrate.
Me: (being penyibuk as usual) kenapa> anything that I can help?
Him: takde lah..I got marriage problem. I'm going for a divorce with my wife.
Me: kenapa ni? what happened?
Him: No lah, I've got another person. Staying in with her.
Me: Oh my God. Kenapa jadi camni? Can't you guys work out something? Apalah masalah korang ni kaum lelaki. Tak cukup dengan satu.
Him: alah...apa lagi nak buat. dah I berkawan dgn you all...dah tak kisah.Berjangkit kot..

That was part of the conversation between me and him. I was stunned with what he told me. Shocked. Couldn't believe my ears. What's wrong with people nowadays? Maybe I'm assuming . But then, I knew him when we were in the same PLKN camp in PD last year. He was this nice guy who talks about his family. Its was a shock when he called up and told me about it. And the worst part is he said its 'berjangkit' from us - his pool of friends yang dah ‘single’ balik ni. Excuse me! Come on! That remark is not fair. I didn't even want this thing to happen to me. It just happened. I was really proud to be married especially when it had reached the 9th year. And I am definitely not proud of being separated. And since August until now, I am just not used to this ‘single’ life yet.

I took a moment to pause and think. When I think about it rationally, I don't blame him 100%. Women nowadays are daring and desperate themselves. Some of them do not even think whether the men have families, small children to raise. I personally think that, if the men can afford - meaning financially and emotionally, why not. It is not going to be easy to be fair , I mean no way he is going to be fair, but if he can afford, at least the financial part is solved. But those women do not think like that. They just want to enjoy, get what their want without thinking of other people feelings.

It reminded me of the conversation I had with the girl who took him away. I did speak to her to find out the reasons. I was calm enough to ask her name and where does she stay. She just graduated from one of the ‘Uni’ in Shah Alam. Huh! I was thinking – did they teach this subject in Uni nowadays? Then I even told her that if she was madly in love with him and serious enough to get married to him – I allow it to happen. BUT….she needed to be serious about it and I gave her a month to act on it. Or else – it means that she was just playing a fool. Guess what? She said I was an angel sent from above because when I spoke to her I didn’t even raise my voice. I told her, in my line of work,I motivate teenagers, kids and sometimes adults. I am also a trainer for PLKN, therefore I was treating her like one of my students!

Then, until a month after that, she just kept quiet while my mobile phone kept ringing in the middle of the night with messages that she sent . Messages that he sent her and she forwarded those to me. Arghh! This is definitely mind torturing. After that, I decided it’s a no because I know, she wasn’t taking it seriously. I cannot be working with teenagers and motivating them if I , myself is not stable emotionally. That was the end of my fairy tale marriage.

Even though I am a female myself, but I’m not siding anybody. I believe the girl wanted to just enjoy and have fun. She was not ready for any commitment even though I had actually agreed to allow him to marry her. But then again to all men out there, you got to know which one is diamond and which is glass. Sometimes, the diamond that you have polished, it may not be as bright and attractive as glass but it is still precious and priceless.Addition to that, we also have our religion to fallback on .

To my married male friends out there, do take care of your wives’ feeling. Sometimes small, little things that does not seem important to you, might be a big deal to your wives. I guess as wives, we do not expect much. Small, little gesture does wonders – trust me. Even just a wish will do. But the most important thing in a relationship is open communication and being transparent to your partner.

To my single friends who are getting married out there, don’t be scared because of what happened to me. Taqdir dan ketentuan Allah will decide everything. You just need to usaha. Insya Allah , pray for the best coz if you do it for Allah, insya Allah you will get the best result and your heart will be calmer. (I know some of you adored him earlier).

To my ‘still’ single friends – maybe you have a bigger role and responsibilities out there for waiting for you. You might not know.

Like my brother told me once when I was in the UK last year – we live in this world with a purpose. Ask yourself – what is your purpose? If you are just talking about graduating, working, getting married, buying a house, having a family, then that is just a routine of life. That is not a purpose. We are just being lent to this world temporarily and we need to contribute back to our religion, to our society or even other things.


P/S: Today, out of a sudden, I searched for my ring. The ring which I have not worn for the past few months. I miss wearing my ring. Especially wearing it on the finger which I used to for the past 9 years. After putting it on..........I feel good. It does not matter if I'm alone.I just don't care.There are a lot more things to do in this world.There are a lot more things to focus on.

So, ask yourself what is your purpose ? I think I've found my answer, insya Allah, hopefully this is the right one.