12 weeks = 3 months = single life again

It has been approx. about 12 weeks or 3 months my life has been different...in other words being single again. And within these 3 months, a lot of things has happened. A lot of interesting things. Things that I wouldn't dream of happening. Maybe before this I wasn't ready to talk about it openly. Well, now I am ready to even write a portion of it in my blog. (woah...there's still limit to it!)
Yes, 6th Oct was the official date. The day which I wasn't looking forward to.(addition to being jobless for the past 7 months) Or maybe look forward to. I'm not sure myself. Well, the truth is , I was proud and happy to be married. I was never relunctant to admit it.Especially when it lasts up till the 8th year and we still looked as if we were dating. (oh yeah....) We always say "setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya". Things happened.This time it happened to me. And this is when you need to have faith, you need to believe that things always happened for a reason. Let me just keep it to myself and family members the details of it.

I needed to make THE decision. At times like this - you have 2 options. The 1st option - You can forgive, forget and go on with your lives as usual, as if nothing had happened. The 2nd option - if you can forgive but can't forget, then you got to let it go. Move on with your life. Well, you can pretend as if nothing happened. But what if history repeats itself? Will you be able to face it again? You have in the 1st place pretended nothing had happened. The wound will start to bleed again and this time it will be worst than the 1st time. There will be quarrels. There will be fights. Something which I don't look forward to.

We sat down and talked about it. Discussed on the possible outcomes for both scenarios. Both parties agreed that there would be a "cooling off" period. Him, especially, tried his very best to win my heart again. What can I say, the "sparks" were not there anymore. Nothing. I feel plain. I feel numb. No love - nothing!

The more I think of it, the more I got confused and sad. Really sad.
Frankly - I don't hate him. I don't dislike him. But because of the betrayal, I just can't love him anymore. It felt as if somebody had used a big scissors and snapped my heart out of my body. Maybe because I had loved him a lot. Too much.

And again, I do not want to get into a fight or quarrel. I had 8 wonderful years with him. I've enjoyed it. I'll cherish it. Whoever who replaces that spot - is a lucky girl. It doesn't mean that he would do the same mistake as he did with me.

For now - I would just like to concentrate on my new and interesting job, playing and coaching basketball and do some social work.

For Dynamites and Cagers out there - thank you very much for accepting me. I know a lot of you don't realise it, but you guys changed my life. You made me stronger and cheered me up when I was down.In a way, you guys motivated me.

To K. Ana and family - Sofia, Syafiq and Syaza - I don't think the words "thank you" can describe it at all. You are part of my family.

Anybody who meets me out there - don't worry, Alhamdulillah I'm ok. Like I said,'things always happen for a reason'. I got really lucky coz my new company sent me to the UK for 35 days for training and I just came back. I've moved on. I've recovered.....Insya Allah..... and did I mention after losing 7 kgs - I gained 6 kgs when I was there? hahaha.......with all the chocolates and cakes...who can resist it?

Well....the memories and the scar will always be there........ and,to think of it, I am still lucky to be alive in this world....Alhamdulillah.

How can I leave without basketball nowadays?

21st - arrived in KLIA. 23rd early morning , at about 3.30am , me and my friend drove up to Penang to join our friends to watch the Basketball Agong's Cup tourney. Don't ask me from where did I get all those energy, with lack of sleep and still insist of going to Penang - maybe because of the love for the game...that's the best explanation I could give. Managed to watch a few games. The girls' Selangor team was excellent. They have a few national players in the team. Some of them are familiar faces to me as I did went and saw them training in the MABA stadium. They didn't even need a coach to be with them. And they won. They are good.While the winner for men's team went to Perak.
2nd day I was there - we had a training session with the Cagers. Hmm...I just joined in for the warm up session and the friendly game. After 1 1/2months of no basketball - I really had great fun. Don't mention about my shooting skills ok , its definitely down the drain. Fitness level - don't ever mention about it.
5 hours later - reality sets in. We call it as "tanda-tanda penuaan sudah tiba". I had a really bad back ache - I"ve never had that before! It was really bad until I had problems sitting down, standing up and even lying down on my back! But........like my friends always say - "Control Macho" hahaha....
Being with Cagers made me forget about my problems in KL. They made me feel part of the family eventhough I just knew them recently.

Again....boys...thank you very much for the memories.

I'm back!!!!!

To my friends out there! I'm back for good (for now)! Well, I arrived on the 21st Dec at about 1830. The journey.....I slept for almost 11hours! Crazy! Planned to have a movie marathon but I guess I was too tired to stay awake. Had an experience of a lifetime at Heathrow which I will definitely not forget for the rest of my life.( I hope so ). My luggage exceeded the 25kg limit by MAS - therefore had to throw away some things weighted about 5kgs. (it was an old jacket, a kain batik, a few old t-shirts and other stuffs which I can't remember).Then I had another issue upon boarding the plane. I had 2 hand luggages and one of them which is a backpack given by my brother, was claimed to be oversized for a hand carry. Argghhhh!!! I was nearly stopped from flying! The guy refused to let me go and everybody else had boarded the plane. I was really in a deep shit. No feelings can described - I wanted to shout, cried, even felt like calling for my mom. Told him that I'm willing to let go of one bag - but he said no. Its either I pay or stay.

After 20 mnts of discussion - at last, the golden words came out. He let me go! I had to confirm by asking the meaning of "letting me go". Alhamdulillah! He really let me go and even helped to checked in my bags. I promise next time I'll make sure there is only 1 hand luggage and no excess baggage anymore.