No pain, no gain

Yeah...call me backdated or ketinggalan zaman - the truth is in some areas - I am left out. We are talking about the TV series; Grey's Anatomy. I know, I know, its already in season 2 or maybe 3 - I'm not sure. But few nights ago, that was the first time I watch it -from start till the end.

That night's slot was about "pain". There are some people in the world who has deficiency of feeling pain on their body - something wrong with their nerves. They don't actually feel pain when something hurts their body or skin. But for us, 'normal' people, if we are having pain, as a pain relief, we could take pain killers from as mild as paracetamol to ibuprofen or ponstan and even to morphine which is used in hospitals.

But, the slot also showed that even if the person can't feel any pain on their body, they still feel pain in the hearts. There is no way we could take pain relief or pain killer pills to take away or at least reduce our pain. How I wish there are something in the market. I still remember when I asked my ex-boss - do they actually sell something that can make me feel numb when I got retrenched. And when I got to know what my ex did and the consequences - I was quite determined to look for it.

Why do we feel the pain? Because something is hurting us. Why does it hurt? Maybe because it is something that we are not satisfied with, we have not/did not achieve, something that we do not have a control on and rely on some other things or situations to achieve the desired decisions.

The famous quote we hear is "No pain no gain". It means to gain something, we need to go through pain. The only way for not having any pain- drop it and walk away. Don't even think of having or achieving it.

In the end, its our choice. To have the best at the end of the day by facing the challenges and the pain first, or , to avoid the pain and just forget about the idea at all.

I believe as long as we don't have any wrong 'niat' in our hearts, Insya Allah good things will happen to us eventually. I can just pray to Allah for the best .

This is what I had for breakfast and lunch today. I'm not feeling well, and a friend advised to take half boiled eggs before going to sleep. The sausage - something that I have in the fridge which is easy to prepare and will keep myself full until dinner.


Note: I wrote the above about a week ago and kept it under edit status. Coincidently,after that, something happened which is related to what I wrote. I decided to post it.I think I have 6th sense ;)

Unspoken Emotions

Love is supposed to be an action
not just an emotion. Do I love you
because I feel I do or because you
took the time to show it?

Love is supposed to come from the windows
of your soul and not just from the chambers
in your heart. So, is it my soul that feels
pain or my heart that cries when you're gone?

Love is supposed to be the best form of
communicating one's inner spirituality to
another. But if we both are upset at one
another, is it our spirits or our words that
keep us a part?

Love should be me writing poetry and singing
silly songs of happiness, blossom trees and
turtle doves. But if you don't enjoy or
appreciate any of these things, has my love
been wasted or misunderstood?

Love should be you being able to look into my
eyes while gently caressing my soul and wanting
to create a home with me. What if you're too
busy to look into my eyes, does that mean that
we become homeless?

Love is, love could be, love should be infinity
times infinity and a whole lot more. But if
you're the only one feeling it, and I'm the only
one showing it, were we ever truly in love?


A well said poem by Yosha Bailey

Taking a break

Yesterday, was our 3rd NSS Club 'monthly' gathering. This time round, we plan it at Micasa again as everybody seems to love the place.I left office at about 3.45pm, after a heavy rain. Was stuck in the bad traffic (as expected after the rain), but thank god, as I brought my camera, managed to kill time by taking some shots from the car.


I didn't know that this building is the office for Mahkamah Syariah KL until I saw the signboard.The building itself is quite old - as you can see its written 1930 at the entrance.
This is the Sultan Abdul Samad Building which was used as the centralised train station years ago. I still remember taking express train to JB from here. I'm not sure what they have inside now other than KFC, a few restaurants and bus station for Nice buses - which goes to Singapore.

Dayabumi building from inside of my car. Managed to get the full shot of it when my car was stuck right under the building.

If I'm not mistaken its called as "Padang Selangor Club" ? My dad brought me once there when I was in form 4.
This is the gift from the hotel - appreciation for the booking. While the packaging was great, the chocolate and cookies tastes excellent!
This is the room.Wide and roomy - with 2 big beds. I love the beds. (notice the Mc Donalds bag on the coffee table - that was just for tea. We had more food for dinner and supper...I feel really fat)While lying down waiting for the rest to arrive - I played around with the remote control to check out the channels provided.I think they should upgrade to a bigger TV. They also have everything - from kettle, to fridge, microwave, oven toaster and all kinds of cutleries and crockeries.
The next morning, after breakfast we headed to the pool. We had 'light' refreshments (after over eating during breakfast) while Meen's son was enjoying himself in the pool.
Even though we did not even go out of KL, and we were actually in a hotel beside KLCC , but the ambience and surrounding at the pool made me felt as if I was on a long, holiday at a resort .It did help me to take off some stress which I had been having for the past few days. What a relief... How I wish we did not have to check out today.




Oh..and no..I don't smoke. The cigarette is just part of the photography 'effects'...

My trip to Besut with Ammar

It was a short, hot, and 'stuffed' weekend at grandma's place in Besut.

**Short - it was only a 2 nights stay. I wish we did not have to rush as it was really, really tiring. Pity baby Ammar too.

**Hot - oh yeah..it was terribly dry and hot as it has not been raining for the past 10 days. The grass and small trees has turned yellow instead of the usual green and the fish pond;the water from as deep as our thighs, now its only at the ankle. Thank god the fresh water fish which are being breeded, could survive in such shallow water. The plus points - instead of using fishing rods, we just had to use the net to catch some fish for our dinner.

**And stuffed - hmm....I can say that every 1 hour, we will end up at the dining table, munching on something. From food as heavy as 'nasi himpit and kuah kacang(my all time favourite), for breakfast early in the morning, nasi kerabu, nasi dagang, laksam, apam bakar, apam kukus with gravy, freshly fried keropok lekor, seafood tomyam, telur sotong, air kelapa muda and jelly kelapa (very refreshing), ikan tilapia bakar, the famous gula tarik to the excellent ABC Special from one of the stall nearby . I've never tasted ABC as good as that. Combined with the hot weather - C'est magnifique!

The whole morning was spent at home, waiting for aunties, uncles and cousins to come and visit us.This is actually Nurrun and Ammar's first ever visit to grandma's. So, it was a good idea just to stay put. Well, that also explains the quantity of food we received.

On Saturday afternoon, we went to Pantai Bukit Keluang. Its only less than 10 minutes drive from home - my favourite place to wind down. The smell of the sea, the sound of the waves and the birds - its just excellent. It would have been perfect if I'd have my guy around. Maybe my next visit, Insya Allah. The time was filled in entertaining baby Ammar playing in the water and later collecting and arranging sea shells on the beach (Actually, he fell into the water, dragged by the waves and refused to go in back to the sea...well, it was my fault....)

We retired at 9.30pm - I did not manage to stay awake as per the night before. The heat really drained my energy away. The next morning was spent visitng 2 of my auntie/uncle house. One of them just moved to a bigger house - really big.And Ammar ended up drinking 'Tongkat Ali coffee' which was meant to be for us - adults. He loved it! (Nope..it did not affect his sleeping schedule at all.Maybe that proves that there's no tongkat ali in it?)

Before leaving Besut, we went for a drive at Kuala Besut, where it is famous for its jetty to Perhentian Island. Then went and had lumch at another uncle's place - he operates a 'kedai kopi' in front of his house. The food, again , was excellent. There goes my diet -as I mentioned earlier. This 2 days visit supplied me with enough food for the coming 6 months!

I've taken quite a lot of pictures, as usual. Snapping around. They can be viewed here.

I thought, Ammar Kareem had forgotten about me.He refused to allow me to hold him or hug him.The last time I saw him when he was 1yr 4mnths. But yesterday, while waiting at the airport for our delayed return flight, he wanted to grab my cheeks, as how he did 1 1/2 years ago. At last, I had the feeling he is starting to remember me again- even if its just my cheeks. And I managed to hug and kiss him as I did earlier - at last.

Check your zodiac out.....it might be true

Well...what is yours? I am a LEO...........

SCORPIO -
The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Lovesto joke. Very Good sense of humour.Energetic. Predict future. GREATkisser. Always get what they want.Attractive. Easy going. Loves being inlong relationships. Talkative.Romantic. Caring.

VIRGO -
The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someoneloves them right now. Always wants thelast word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal.Easy to talk to. Everything you everwanted. Easy to please. The one andonly.

LIBRA -
The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Loveis one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet.Have own unique appeal. Most caringperson you will ever meet! however notthe kind of person you wanna messwith ... u might end up crying...

ARIES -
The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not oneto mess with. Funny. Excellent kisserEXTREMELY adorable. Lovesrelationships, Addictive. Loud.

AQUARIUS -
Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser.One of a kind. Loves being in long-termrelationships. Extremely energetic.Unpredictable. Will exceed yourexpectations. Not a Fighter, But willKnock your lights out.

GEMINI -
Irresistible
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Greatlisteners Very Good in the you knowwhere... Lover not a fighter, but willstill knock you out. Trustworthy.Always happy. Loud. Talkative. OutgoingVERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Hasa beautiful smile. Generous. Strong.THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

LEO -
The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable.Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive.Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

CANCER -
The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal.Love is one of a kind. Very romantic.Most caring person you will ever meet!Entirely creative. Extremely random andproud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Greattelling stories. Not a Fighter, Butwill Knock your lights out if it comesdown to it. Someone you should hold onto.

PISCES -
The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center ofattention. High appeal. Has the lastword. Good to find, hard to keep. Funto be around.Extremely weird but in agood way. Good Sense of Humor!!!Thoughtful. Always gets what he or shewants. Loves to joke. Very popular.Silly, fun and sweet.

CAPRICORN -
The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent.Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible.Loves being in long relationships.Great talker. Always gets what he orshe wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini'sin sports. Extremely fun. Loves tojoke. Smart.

TAURUS -
The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in longrelationships. Likes to give a goodfight for what they want. Extremelyoutgoing. Loves to help people in timesof need. Good kisser. Good personality.Stubborn. A caring person. One of akind. Not one to mess with. Are themost attractive people on earth!

SAGITTARIUS -
The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find.Great when found. Loves being in longrelationships. So much love to give.Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Veryromantic. Nice to everyone They meet.Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, funand sweet. Have own unique appeal. Mostcaring person you will ever meet!Amazing in the you know where..!!!

and my darling is a SAGITTARIUS.....
Darling, is yours true?......hehehe...just curious....

Hmm.....it would be really interesting if all that is written is true.

Lights on,energy off

Today, I am satisfied. After listening to some 'recorded' phone calls related to an incident, I know my instinct was right. And yes! I was damn right!

****************

I foresee myself extra tired these few days as I need to go back to Terengganu today evening, right after work, with my sister in-law and her baby. The good thing is, I wasn't expecting to 'balik kampung' after my last visit during Raya Haji earlier due to my tight job and basketball coaching schedule and I'm going back this weekend. Its and 'unplanned' thing and going to be a short one, only till Sunday evening. I know its going to be fun, interesting and a non-stop eating trip too. (knowing how my grandma, aunties and uncles are going to treat us)

****************

I feel like sleeping with the lights on tonight. Now its 12.30am and I need to wake up at 5.30am to go to work. Yeah...leaving the lights on will be a good option as it will help me to wake up when the alarm goes off.

****************

Oh darling....everyday I miss you more and more. Will we have the chance to meet again ?

Self reflection

Had a tough 'mental' day today. Actually, it was nothing compared to what I went through a few years back. But I guess, still, after being complacent for quite sometime, this is one of the challenge that I've received.

It makes me wonder, who is immature, you or me? Whining and complaining about something you heard from other people which there is a possibility of not true, is wasting time and energy compare to being concerned of the major mistakes that you have done and I've solved it for you and backed you up.

Well, I could bring up some other matters if I want to, but there is no point of doing so as I know, I've been in this line for a long time, much, much more longer than you and since I'm much more mature than you, I do not want to mention about small, unnecessary things.

Its like the artists and the tabloids. The tabloids will try to find things to talk about - the not so good things. If you are an excellent artist - you do not need to be jumpy and reply unnecessarily to them. One day, the issue will just fade away or the tabloids might apologise to you.

Well, just a reflection on what had happened - just to remind me to be cautious this time round. Thank you for reminding me of what I've learned earlier.

Maybe,...hmmm...maybe I should draw a thicker line in between. There is a line now...but I guess its dotted lines. Now, I would need a thick marker pen for a thicker line...

Itchy hands

Had a very good sleep last night...woke up quite early today. After breakfast, had nothing to do. While just surfing around, thinking of 'upgrading' the look of my blog.

That's when it started. With my 'itchy' hands, managed to get a nice, beautiful, sunset photo suitable for my blog, I decided to give it a try. Unfortunately, it was not what I was expecting - tried to change back to the old settings. The old setting seems to be missing. So, here, I ended up still trying to figure out, but temporarily have to settle with this.

Tu lah..gatal tangan lagi. Mengaku je lah yang kite ni buta IT!!! I hate when this happens.

A heart-breaking weekend

Yesterday morning, with Hana, I went to watch and support a junior Srikandi who has managed to qualify for the finals of the "Nescafe Kickstart- Where dreams become real" reality contest. She had the most supporters - with banners and cute little alphabets spelling out her name, we are really proud of her being one of the finalist. Personally, eventhough I do not know her, a Srikandi is still a Srikandi.

All of us, her supporters, hoping and praying that she would win, were frustrated with the results. She managed to be one of the final two, but didn't managed to be the winner of the RM150,000. Being emotionally sensitive, I personally felt the pain of losing at the very last stage.Reading her feelings here, makes it worst. I hope she would not give up and goes on with her dreams of producing her brainchild- HatiYoga.

After that, I made a bad decision of going to the PC Fair. Forgotten that it was a Sunday and last day of the fair, the place was crowded really bad. I was cursing all they way in trying to find the exit as the system allows one entrance and one exit; which is at start and the end of the exhibition halls. I swear that is going to be my first and last visit there. Thank god I didn't faint.

Not only that, my day was ended with a 'not so good ' feeling. I felt asleep feeling sad, frustrated, angry and worst, felt like being used. I've never felt that bad before. And it hurts till now.

I'm so hurt...

News today

In a week, due to my shifts , I can hardly count how many times I watched the 8pm news (most time -none!). But today, other than the bad accident which Catriona Ross was involved in (seems that she broke both legs, had a neck and face injury - sounds bad); being aired, there was also the latest news about the missing boy, Yin, which attracted my attention to wait for it.

The latest news is the boy was returned to the parents today by somebody who claimed to have found him on the 'day' he went missing, took care of him and did not watch television or read any newspapers for the past 2 weeks. Therefore she did not know the parents were looking for him high and low.Well, if she's like me, yes I admit I don't read newspapers and I watched the news seldomly. But then again, I did not find any boy in the streets and took him back. If I did, I would have gone to the police station straight away to make a report on it. Yeah..I think that would be more appropriate. But anyway, as promised by Yen's parents, as long as they get their boy back, they will not lodge any report. Watching the father hugging his son on National TV with swollen eyes, touched my heart and almost made me cry. His son was too young to figure it out. Putting myself in his son's position, how I wish my dad would do that.

One of my ex-colleague who got married sometime last year, went for their honeymoon about the same time I was in Ireland. He emailed us some really nice photos. Especially the ones in Greece. I have always love the scenery that overlooks the beach and sea over there. Not only that I have always dreamt to go on a cruise. But today, reading through The Star online, I came across this frightening story. The vessel did sink in the end. Well, I guess what ever we do nowadays, we can just pray the best to Allah. Nothing could guarantee anything.

And now, I'm watching Majalah 3, hosted by our very own Srikandi, and news reported by her husband , its about the Safari in Nairobi, Kenya. Its like a big, non-gated zoo or wildlife park! I can't imagine a lion or an elephant just beside our truck. Maybe one day, Insya Allah, I'll be able to pay a visit there.

p/s: In Cork, getting myself really near to a Ilama and a byson at their Wildlife Park has already given me adrenalin rush. Can't imagine myself in Nairobi.

I hate PMS!!!

Image from www.bullyonline.org/stress

Arghhhhh!!!!

For no reason, I cried.

For no reason, I scolded a person

For no reason, I got really upset

For no reason,I refused to talk to my honey

For no reason, my honey got blamed when he tried to pacify me



Darling, I'm so sorry.

I really didn't mean it as it was out of control

5 minutes later, I could even joked about it with my colleagues.

Thank god, I didn't look like the cat above when having PMS.

All my life

I just love this song......is an evergreen...

I will never find another luva sweeta than you,
Sweeta than you
And I will never find anutha luva more precious than you
More precious than you
Girl you are
Close to me you're like my mother
Close to me you're like my father
Close to me you're like my sister
Close to me you're like my brutha
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

And all my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said you're all that I'm thinkin' of.....baby

Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger
You're all I'm thinkin' of, I praise the Lord above
For sending me your love,
I cherish every hug
I really love you

And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me

You're all that I ever known
When you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow
You turned my life around
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes I pray that you do love me too

Hairy tyres

I know how to drive fast. I know how to take corners - especially if driving at roads like the ones heading to Terengganu via Gua Musang. The truth is, I only know how to drive. In regards to the engine, the tyres and etc....hmmm.....I still need someone to remind me or even when something had already happened, then only I will look into it. Tht's not the truth actually, even if I knew about it, I would always pospone to look into it as 'cars and maintenance' are just not my thing.

But today, I had to. I knew about the condition of my tyres since December when one of it sort of 'burst' while I was driving long distance. It was replace with a 2nd hand tyre. Luckily it was in my hometown and nearby to my uncle's place. Again, I took for granted that he would help me to replace it temporarily. And ..it only last till now.

The metal 'hairs' has revealed it self on both my rear tyres. I know, I know its damn dangerous. I could actually felt it yesterday, when I returned from office driving in the heavy rain. My car was swerving from left to right. Therefore I had to drive only 40km/hr. Alhamdulillah, nothing happened. But that did give me an alarm - what if anything were to happen? Maybe its not your fault. Maybe somebody would pull an emergency brake and I needed to do so too. My brakes would not have worked due to the condition of my tyres.

So, today, I forced myself to go to the tyres shop and change a new one. Well not all 4 because of the budget constraint. But 2 are good enough. I've spent RM250 for that.I need to change the other 2 sometime next month.(kenari tyres already cost me RM125 each, what if it was a 4 wheel drive? OMG!!) But the mechanic also told me to come over next month as my car need to do 'cambering' and he said there's a 'bar' which I need to replace as this would affect my allignment and tyres again. That would cost me another RM350. Let's see how is next month's budget. Maybe I should start fasting to cover the cost.

Ohh...I really need somebody to help me look after my car please. Anybody out there? I just hate waiting at the workshop for hours....

VMY 5 -Kuala Selangor and its attractions

Today, the initial plan was to go and watch a basketball tournament in a boarding school in Kuala Selangor. However, upon arriving we noticed the school was quiet - did not show any signs of organising such events. After a few calls, we were informed that it is being postponed to the 27th of April. Arghhh....all the way, and I only had 2 1/2 hours sleep last night, it was really frustrating.

The 4 of us discussed, we decided to just drive around and visit some local tourist attractions and the nearest was Bukit Malawati. It was a breath taking view from the top however it was too hot to stay for long as there was no wind at all. We left after taking some shots as seen above.

On the way back, we passed through Sabak Bernam, and along the way, we stopped by to buy some local fresh seafood which was called "mentarang?" (is this correct). Not only that , we also refreshed ourselves with thick mango juice (a big glass cost Rm1 only!) and steamed sweet corn which is also famous in that area.

We arrived home, prepared lunch - yummy...the seafood was really delicious. We only spent about RM16.00 and we really had a feast. Excellent lunch! Well, if the plan goes well, we have to return to this place on the 27th for to watch the tournament - we have already planned to do what we have done today!!

More photos here

My new Timberland

3 months back, I helped my brother to send some items back using my company's services. He actually sent 6 boxes back. When I asked him, did he pack any chocolates or anything for me in the boxes in return, he said nothing. Its all his and his son's toys and also used items that he neeed to get rid off.Well, I was a bit dissapointed butI guess its his things so I can't do much. I had just offered to help.

However, today, when I went to my mom's place I found out that he did pack something inside the boxes. Shoes. Yes...shoes. I love shoes.Luckily we wear the same size. We are not talking about ladies shoes here - more of sports shoes which he does not use anymore. It seems that he packed a few pairs in them and told my mom to ask me to choose any one of it. And this is the one which I've chosen :


It is a great surprise. I love my new shoes!!! Thanks Ady!!

More of Cork

Exhausted and adjusting

As per scheduled, I was back in the office this morning, earlier than usual time as I felt like eating the makcik's nasi lemak around the corner. (Talking about not craving for any local food, eh!)

Oh boy! It was tough to focus on work as I only managed to get 3 hours sleep last night and today was not that busy.Therefore I had to find other things to do. Not too sure the 'sleeping problem' was whether about jet-lag or missing somebody. But I guess, a person who works on shift should have no problem with jet-lag, so the latter is more reasonable in this case. Well, I just have to try my best to adjust to this feeling. Its kind of weird. What to do.I can just hope for the best now.

I took some photos when I was in Ireland. Other then the ones in the slides above, these are a few of my favourites:

My feet is back on the ground

3rd April, at 8.30pm, my flight from Singapore arrived safely in KLIA. Alhamdulillah. Well, we did have some problems from London to Singapore when the plane's air condition 'battery' needed to be recharged. We were semi 'cooked' sitting in the plane for about 1 hour before everything goes back to normal and ok for it to take off.Just imagine without the aircond! Thank god there were no babies in that flight. This had caused a delay, and shortened the time I had in Changi airport to check in for the next flight. I felt I was in the Amazing Race - racing for time to catch the connecting flight back to KL.

Oh, and the food. The halal special meal from London to Singapore was much better compare from Singapore to London on British Airways. I guess, these are the things that Singapore couldn't care less.

All in all, my trip to Ireland was more than I could describe in writings. I went through a whole cycle of emotions ; nervous,frustrated (when they left my bag in London), excited, happy,and later sad upon separating and departure. The whole trip, was an eye opener. Things I would only dream off before this- even at a certain point things that I've never dreamt off.
Everything was...perfect. It was beyond words can describe. For the first time too, there was no shopping involved; just spending time lazying around and sight seeing, and of course, getting to know each other better. Oh ya...it would be a suitable place for honeymoon...hehehe....(just a suggestion)

I am not sure when we will meet up again but I was warned to have a bit more faith on the future and to make sure that my cup is always half full. There will always be a jug of water somewhere nearby to make sure this is met.

On the journey back, they showed 'The Holiday'. I've watched it few weeks back but this time its different because I just noticed, the parts played by Jude Law and Cameron Diaz reflects my version of my holiday.70% of it.

p/s: I told you dear, I hate saying good byes. I'm really bad at it. I'm definitely going to miss you.