The road is mine...the choice is mine.

Wow! Kl is really, really empty. I mean the road, the highways, be it the Federal Highway or the PLUS highway. I think people with cars have returned to their hometown for the whole week. But I just have the feeling that the shopping complexes such as Sungei Wang Plaza, KLCC and Mid Valley are swarming with people:- families going out for an outing, couples going out for movies, singles meeting their friends and doing window shopping etc...

Well, here I am, in the office, attending to calls from other countries. Thank god the calls are from New Zealand, Australia and the UK. At least it makes me feel as if I'm still working in the UK instead of in Malaysia and working on a Public Holiday. That what makes my job special and interesting coz I don't deal with Malaysians.

Oh..hold on.... arghhh...not again. This is the sad part.Just got an sms from Azarul - basketball is on tomorrow , same place at 8am. And after that they are planning to go to Sg.Pisang for a swim. And I need to be here, same place, by 7am. Definitely not able to join them again. Well, look at the bright side. I got to do another 2 hours of OT and by tomorrow night, I will be leaving to KK again to join the girls!

Eventhough the road is clear and its mine, I have to make a choice. Whether to use it or not...and I chose the best which I think it is for now.

What a tiring but fun weekend!

Drove to KK with 2 boys in my car - well, it did not make a difference whether they are around or not coz one of them slept almost the whole journey and the other was in his own world! I ended up putting nice songs (to my ears) and sing along with it.Who cares whether I have a nice voice or not.As long as I didn't fall asleep while driving.And my car looks like a small lorry full of maggie mee.

The Dynamites CNY Intensive Camp started on Saturday 28/1. They arrived late afternoon due to a massive traffic jam on the PLUS highway. It was a bad day to travel actually because of the CNY 'balik kampung' crowd.But thank god we left USJ at 5am when it was still manageable. Thank you to the organizers, MCKK, we were given a nice apartment to stay. 3 rooms - very cozy and homely.

Since the Dynamites arrived very late, the whole day was spent watching the Cagers practised. Some of them looked ' taller' since I last met them in August last year. Compare to the Dynamites, I think they have a great team - good team spirit and highly motivated. They are also very lucky as some of the 'old boys' came back to have friendly matches with them.It was a good exposure because the old boys has more experience and really did give them a challenge!

Last night, I was invited for dinner outside. Coach, 'Poser', 'Babloo','Che Gap', Migie, Nageb, Gto and Cepe were there. It felt so weird being among them. I really felt as if I was out of place. I'm not actually close to them and haven't even played basketball with most of them. It was more like a 'reunion' for them. Eventhough all of them are basketballers but it was a different feeling altogether. Usually, I don't have problems especially when being with basketballers. Maybe it was because of the age gap, maybe because they were too quiet, maybe because we didn't know what to talk about........I don't know. Poser was definitely the most talkative one - but he was busy talking to Coach. So, there I was, trying my very best to create a conversation, and all the topics failed to . Maybe , next time, I'll try harder.

My biological clock is still upside down. As if I'm having 'jet-lag' since my 3am -11am shift last week. At 9pm, I'll be really sleepy and at 5am I'm wide awake. I've got to do something before my next trip to KK , or else I'll be really tired.

p/s: Azarul, Ardy, Pippen, Farah, Awin, Faiz, Fauzi, Peng, Shar, Jai, Rizal, Ray and others whom I 'regularly' play basketball with, I miss playing with you guys so much.It has been nearly few months since the last game. I don't have any free Saturdays anymore until March. Can you guys believe it? Well, being with my Dynamites team means that I will not have the chance to play!

new addition to the family....baby Dhia Sarah

On Wednesday 25/1 my sister gave birth to a cute baby girl. She's really, really cute. I know, I know, all babes are cute. But this one, I guess she's really cute because she's ours. Only yesterday I managed to see her - right after finisihing my shift at 11am. She has long fingers and she's going to turn up into a tall lady. So, her father and myself discussed and decided that she should be a sprinter and a basketballer.....hahaha...big plans huh....

And I noticed, all the babies there were crying really loud except her. She just slept peacefully in her crib and once in a while, opened her eyes, as if trying to look from where the noises were. It seems as if she does not mind the noise at all nor she wants to join the rest of them and be part of the 'choir'.

My evergreen, favourite love song....now and forever

Sometimes when we touch

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

11 years difference.....but same opinion

Yesterday, I managed to have a chat with a friend who is 11 years younger.(But we went to the same school) The topic we discussed was on Reality TV programme nowadays. We actually discussed about the recent programme "Malaysia Most Beautiful " award / programme. OH MY GOD! I can't believe that I watched that programme! (I just saw 2 of the shows )At first, I kind of like Faridah , who is the eldest participant among all and she managed to get to the last 3.She's beautiful for a woman of her age and yet elegant and has the qualities of somebody whom I can say 'beautiful inside and outside'. But then, last week, Faridah did not make it to the final 2. (based on SMS votes - I was not surprised). So, that left us the final 2 - Dilla and Jessie. Yes. Talk about Jessie. She is so..... I guess there's now word that I can describe her. Yes, she is different - but if she were to be awarded with the title, I really think most Malaysians are BLIND! Or maybe they do not know the definition of 'Most Beautiful ' . Or maybe they just love to see the opposite - instead of giving the award to the right person, they just want to see what's the outcome if they vote for somebody who is totally opposite! Well, I can't actually explain. But what I can tell you is that - she is soooooooooooo............argghhhh.......again no words can describe. Let's just wait. The winner will be chosen via sms votes.....and I think I know who will win.......

Arghhhh................. I just could not forget her words which went something like this, "I know I am beautiful maa. People are jealous with me because I am beautiful. I am the most beautiful woman. I know I can win this contest". And my friend said, 'Aiyo! I pun tak boleh tahan. Tengok the advertisement je dah cukup meluat!' hahaha.

p/s: This reminded me of last year's AF3 winner. Aura? Yeah...why not? Maybe Jessie has a 'strong' aura....hahaha.....

Kenangan zaman dolu-dolu..

Semalam, masa gi lunch dengan Nik, Mimin, Dalie and Ayu Afeera, terkeluarlah cerita zaman dolu-dolu masa kat STF. The five of us, kat Madam Kwan KLCC - riuh rendah. Sampai sakit perut ketawa. Just imagine Dalie cakap ada one senior panggil dia gi dining hall, push her through one of the broken window, just nak ambik stok food kat dalam. Kononnye sebab senior tu besar and Dalie ni kecik and muat dan senang kena tolak masuk ikut tingkap tu.

Teringat pulak bila Esty dulu ada mention yang as a junior dia takut sangat dengan 'Ahli Jemaah'. hahaha...ahli jemaah ni konon nya my batch, a few of us, yg selalu melepak kat 'Common Room' block C. Pas tu juniors nak guna common room pun takut. The kelakar tu,aku baru dapat tau, juniors rupanya were scared of me. Yang aku ingatlah, tak pernah pulak tak pasal2 aku marah juniors. 'Lecture' pun jarang. Maybe I talk less dulu. Only to the bandgirls and basketballers. So sekarang ni, some of them cakap tak sangka aku ni pak lawak. Ada je joke yang kelur. Ada ke patut!
Well, tu sume sweet memories in STF. Maybe , one of these days, kalau ada yg teringat lagi, I will write it here. Best pulak sekali-sekali dapat jumpa bebudak lain and bercerita....

3am shift - loving every minute of it!

This week is my first week working at 3 am and I'm loving every minute of it. Sleep at 8pm and to wake up at 2am and get ready for work when everybody is still sleeping or even just going to bed. It is so peaceful and quite. My journey to work using the Federal Highway was excellent! No jam. Very few cars. But sometimes we need to be careful as we might come across 'drunk' drivers.

Yesterday was a great day too. Me and some friends went out for lunch. These were some of my very close friends in STF. Dalie, Mimin and Ayu - you guys look great! Especially Nik Noor Tahirah - who has been MIA for the past 3-4 years. It seems that she went to the UK and did her Masters , spent 1 year holidaying there and now back for holidays only in Msia until May. And yesterday itself - we planned for to have our reunion / batch gathering for 2006. Since Nik is also around.Hope to have it sometime in March since my schedule for February is already full.

How time really flies

Without really noticing it, (even though I suffered the whole week by taking the public transportation and this morning just less than 24 hours after updating my blog about the commuter service, the train I took had problems not even a 1/4 journey yet and we had to change trains - just imagine the crowd), this week has come to an end. Today is Friday.Yahoo!!! It feels like yesterday was just Monday. Maybe because I'm still tired. Tired from training the girls in JB last weekend. Oh ya..and my back still hurts. Its already been a week. I hope its just a muscle pull and not any other serious injury.

And tonight, I am going back to Terengganu by bus. E-budaya to be specific. My mom said its the best express bus to Terengganu she had ever taken. Let's see whether she's right.

And today, I repeat, its Friday. I look forward to Saturday and Sunday - my plans for this Saturday: to visit my grandma, aunties and uncles, to go to the beach,to fish at the pond and not to forget, to eat! Sunday will be a tiring day as I will be driving back to KL right after Subuh prayers.And I'm also looking forward to Monday, as I will be working on the 3am shift!

Can't wait for the next 2 weekends as I will be in KK next!

An interesting topic from The Star

FT Religious Department told to disband squad

KUALA LUMPUR: The Cabinet told the Federal Territory Religious Department to disband the “snoop team” as it is tantamount to invasion of privacy.

With this move, the Cabinet has sent a clear message – “forget about it” – to other groups that may have plans to set up similar units.

“We have to be consistent. That was our decision when a group wanted to form such a squad in Malacca. The Prime Minister said they should not be allowed because there could also be legal repercussions,” he said.

“This involves invading people’s privacy. Although (the Federal Territory Religious Department or Jawi) said the group can assist in disaster or provide other assistance, it’s a lame excuse. It’s unnecessary because eventually there will be people snooping around.”
“For one, these people are not trained. You can’t simply give any Tom, Dick and Harry the powers to spy and catch people,” he said, adding that there was already the police to take action against people who break the law.

Jawi public relations officer Idris Hassan said the voluntary squad would have no powers to arrest Muslim couples committing indecency in public or those engaging in vice activities, but could only advise them.

“This squad is formed with the sincere wish to advise Muslim couples to be decent and not to commit anything that can smear the image of the religion,” he told Bernama.

What do you think of this? In a way it does help to reduce all the "maksiat" that's happening openly in the public but it can also produce one. This reminds me of a case. This person, C , is one of the "authorised" person of a "snoop" team in my area ( which houses a high number of University students.) Well, his job, every night, mainly is to monitor any suspicious act in the area with a few other members. And there were cases when his group had actually "captured" people in the act and handed them over to JAIS.Well, the question is, when he "brings" back somebody to his empty house, he can claim that the person is his sister. And nobody, not even his team member will ask in detail because he's one of them. So, what happens then?

Public transport in Malaysia

Since Monday this week, I have been taking the public transport to work. Well, you can say that I’m sort of “forced” to do so. 1st reason is because my car is in Terengganu – sent it for servicing. And the 2nd reason – this week I’m working 9-5pm shift and with this working hours, especially when my office is in Bangsar, I don’t feel like driving my mom’s kancil and get stuck in a massive traffic jam (my long legs my get cramps – mind you its manual!)

So, I start the day by taking the commuter from Section 17 Shah Alam. No! I’m not taking the bus! – still asked mom to send me to the commuter station as the bus service to the station still sucks!

The basic facts of using public transports in Malaysia:

-for buses – the ETA of buses at the bus stops are still not reliable.
-for commuter service – 80% reliable (provided its not on a PH and its not raining)
-for LRT service – not bad at all (unless they have something like a piece of metal was found on the tracks and it stops the service for nearly 2 hours)
-if it rains heavily - please stay where you are. Do not ever take public transport. Its either you get stuck in the traffic jam, or it gets flooded and interrupts the commuter service.
-Its not that cheap
-you better get ready to "squeeze" yourself into the vehicle.

The number of people who uses the commuter service daily is tremendous! Everyday, the trains are packed like sardine. This morning, it was really, really packed until when the train stopped at Pantai Dalam and Angkasapuri station, some of them couldn’t squeeze in anymore. But there are some people out there who are just stubborn and do not care about other people. They just pushed themselves in and pity to the people inside when sometime they had to stand facing another person and from one glance they looked as if they are a couple! Yes, that close to each other! This is when I feel very lucky being tall and big coz it makes people to stay away from me. Hehehe…this is when height and size does matter. Oh ya...I can still get "fresh air" and oxygen.
I even heard a girl mentioned to her friend “ Kakak ni tinggi betul lah”. Oh, did I mention that the journey from Shah Alam to KL Sentral takes about 45mts. So, you either get a seat and take a nap or if you are standing, you just need to enjoy the journey and "view". Actually, this morning, I tried to sleep while standing. Don’t ask me how I did it, but I managed to for a few minutes. Kids! Don’t do this at anytime, ok!

After the 4th day of taking the commuter and LRT, I have agreed to some extent, if my shift is from 9 to 5pm, its better for me to use the public transportation. i can actually reach home by 6.10pm latest. And its also better for me coz I do tend to doze off when driving back from work! Its just that I still can't estimate the timing to arrive in the office.Maybe I am phobia of being late to office I have actually arrived at 8am every day since Monday!

I love this song...very meaningful.

You raise me up...

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

Leo ......for 2006

You're out for a real, honest-to-goodness emotional connection this New Year 2006. That's first and foremost on your priority list. Fortunately, when it comes to prospective partners, you know what you like and, more importantly, what you don't like -- and during 2006, your perceptive abilities will be especially keen. As the New Year progresses, your relationship will deepen bringing you two very close. Your attachment with your partner will increase and love will blossom around you. You may even get married by the end of the year. Career matters will come in the forefront this year 2006. You'll be working hard and you'll definitely see some serious rewards. There would be higher-ups in charge of your paycheck and your professional future followed by the raise, promotion or bonus you've been aiming for. By the end of the year you may as well become a significant authority figure. 2006 brings forward many new challengs pushing you to new heights. There will be times when you must get up and go to work when you really don't want to and that will probably be the day you get a promotion. Making yourself do things when you'd rather not will be rewarded this year.

Will this happen to me? Get married? No thanks. The rest...let's wait and see...... I hope the one related to my career will come true...

Weekends in JB

Weekends in STF - a planned one. Needed to go there to do fitness tests for my gals. Just to make sure the players are ready for our next intensive camp at the end of January.
Went with Hana - she just decided 3 hours before the bus left that she wanted to go too. Hmm...don't ask me how she did it. Nowadays , for both of us, travelling is a regular thing to do.We can just jump on to buses or even our own car and drive off. We've even done it at 4am!

The best part of our trip this time - other than got to "torture" the players, we managed to steal sometime to go to the saloon. Well, it was me at first, wanting to go and trim my hair. Hana had to follow. Then , out of a sudden, after hearing that to wash and trim our hair it only cost us RM10, she suddenly agreed for her hair to be washed and trimmed. And after a few Q&A with the guy who cut my hair, we look forward for the next trip! Some of the questions asked...."How much does it cost to colour our hair?, "how much is it if I want to do rebonding?", " Do you do hair spa?" I don't even know what hair spa is...

Addition to that...I had a great time talking to the guy who cut my hair. Guess what? He guessed my age as 23!! Maybe he was pulling my leg. But he sounded serious. Hana and I really enjoyed the "conversation".

My gals had a tough training / fitness session. But I guess they had fun too. We actually played some games - just to make sure they enjoy the training sessions. I burnt myself under the 3pm sun for 2 days in a row and also "hurt" my back. This happens when your mind says you can do it but your body is actually "aging"..hehehe....

What age do you act?

A few days ago, I came across one of my "friend's" friendster page. He had this "Cool things to Put in Your Blog " thingy. I did the questionnaire on "What Age Do You Act?". And you know what? This year at the age of 32, my result is I'm acting as if I'm a 16 years old! Half the age I'm supposed to be! Not to say that I'm not matured, but its just a way of releasing stress and avoid depression - maybe. After what I've been through last year, I just want to relax and enjoy - coz life is too short! As long as we don't forget our duties socially and religiously, Insya Allah, its ok to be young at heart. (Did I mention when I was in UK, all my new colleagues there thought that I am 25 years old?......hehehe )

Well, why don't you guys try it out?

My result: You are 16 years old.

You Are 16 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

2005 and its history..

Hmm.....2005 - I guess so far, for the past 31 years I've been in this world, this is the most memorable, sweet, bitter and toughest year I had gone through. Let's see...maybe I should just list down the ups and downs which I had gone through:

February
- First time went for a holiday rip to Kuching on my own. Met my Maxis friends coincidently. It was great!! Felt as if I'm still part of their family.
-My first ever trip overseas - UK. Visited my brother and his family for 2 weeks. First time experiencing winter - it was excellent!
- My first time experience being "retrenched" from my job. Argh...it was really painful - felt worst than losing a boyfriend because this involved losing my income.

March
-I was selected to be a PLKN (National Service) trainer! Eventhough it was only for 3 days - it was a memorable one. I had fun.

April
-Still no job offers - after a serious discussion with my brother in the UK, we decided I should explore something new by going over there - with permission with my hubby, of course! So, we decided I should go first and after 2 to 3 months, he will followsuit. Didn't even imagine that I would be in the UK for the 2nd time in the same year!And this time I managed to experience Spring.
-Enrolled myself into an Advance English class. Managed to get to know new friends : Michal,Elena, Magda, Peter, Francoise,Aline,Elaine, ,Victor, Gabby and others - I LOVE YOU GUYS and MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

May
-With my brother's help, managed to get a part time job with a japanese restaurant. Since I love the food - there was no problem at all learning how to make sushi and prepare sashimi. It was a great experience.And the chefs there - they were really great, nice and friendly people. Somebody whom I can accept as my own brothers. Bros! If you read this, you changed my life and you guys made me a stronger person. Thanks! Hope we can be friends forever.

June
-My first ever camping trip!! My brother brought us to Snowdonia in Wales. It was excellent. Breathtakingly beautiful. No words can describe it.

July
-received a freelance job offer as STF assistant basketball coach under the Srikandi R-2-V Project. And just a few days before leaving the Nottingham, had another offer to be a trainer for the National Service Camp. Great news for me who has been unemployed for nearly 4 months. And well, because I had great fun during the last session, definitely I won’t miss this opportunity!
-I was in London the day they announced Olympic 2012.What a celebration! We were lucky enough the bombing in London happened a day after we were there. The exact same spot and time! Alhamdulillah nothing happened.
-Had to depart with my classmates. Had to depart with my brothers –Sam, Azmi and Andy. I hate saying good-byes especially this time when I know that I won’t have the chance to come back to the UK and meet them again.
-Started my part time job as a basketball coach. This is the kind of job I was looking forward to.



August
-Celebrated my 31st birthday and go the best birthday present ever – found out that my ex was having an affair exactly on my birthday. It snapped my heart away.
-My first ever visit to a close friend’s fruit orchard in Segamat. Had an excellent time.


September
-I was sort of involved with the Petronas Cup basketball tournament – something that I’ve never dreamt of doing. I guess things do happen for a reason.


October
-6th Oct – I was officially “released”. It was a sad and heartbreaking moment. And it was also on the 2nd day of Ramadhan.


November
-Received a job offer from a company which I applied in February. Amazing and miracle! The miracle part is this company sends their staff to the UK for a 1 month training – something that I’ve never dreamt off.
-First hari Raya in 8 years - celebrated on my own. Managed to pull through.
-on the 14th , for the 3rd time this year, I flew back to the UK. This time it was to Ashford, Kent. I felt that it was still a dream to be able to be there again, to meet Peter, Elena, Aline, my brother and his family and also Sam, Andy and Azmi (not forgetting his wife and baby who just arrived)


December
-Started my new job in Bangsar.
-Went to Penang to watch the Agong’s Cup – again I just couldn’t believe that I’m really into this basketball thing now.
-Ended the year 2005 with fever, flu and gastric problems on the 31st.Argh….I guess it was the cleansing ritual for 2005 hehehe….

2005 – it was the sweetest, toughest, saddest year for me. It will be the most memorable one – the year which I got to know lots of new friends, the year which I felt I was drowning and needed CPR and K.Ana and her family came along, the year which I know there are people out there who still care for me. This was also the year which I need to be on my own feet again and not to rely on anybody else , the year which I learnt that you can lose weight tremendously if you lost your loved ones…hahaha……….The year that I realised how much I loved basketball.


2005 – Thank you for the memories, the challenges, and the learning curves. Things do happened for a reason and whatever it is, life must go on. I just need to be stronger in the future.