A very lovely wedding

Saturday nite, I attended a friend's wedding. She's 4 years my junior and we sort of lost contact after I left school until early this year when I met one of her friend again.

The gal, dressed in a ..if I'm not mistaken a purple and green dress (the famous colour combination during my school days), looked like our own Malaysian Halle Berry. Very, very beautiful. With her husband walking beside her, they looked perfectly together.

The ambience was just right - done like a garden party, with colonial building at the side and a beautiful garden with big trees surrounding it. To complement it - the food was great and the music by a ghazal group was also just nice . Oh yeah...the food - we had briyani gam kambing - I had 3 helpings...there goes my diet...but who cares. And the gifts from the bride and groom - was our dessert - a box of imported chocolates.Yummy...

To Noi and hubby - I'll wish and pray that insya Allah you'll be together for the rest of your lives. Congratulations gal!

My toys

These are my new toys in the office:



the LION - symbol of bravery, strong and tough.....its also a symbol for my horoscope. (from McD)

the BASKETBALL - the game I love soooo much (from A&W)

the COW - well,...I'm not really sure actually what does it means. (from Hana )





Oh and another toy - the O2 Xda11 phone /PDA from my brother ( I used it to take the photo above). Old model actually but new for me. Still trying to figure out how to make full use of it and still trying to adjust myself to using it. One thing I know, its quite troublesome when I receive an sms when I'm sleeping and have to reply to it- had to force myself to look for the stylus and trying to find the right alphabet on the 'keyboard' with my eyes half open! Most of the time - I just closed the sms and continue on sleeping!

p/s: I'm a big fan of beanies - maybe one day I'll put up some of the items I have on my blog.

I'm happy today!!!

Guess what, somebody just guessed that I am 24 or 25 years old!!!
I thought she was just pulling my leg.
Then she asked me another question, " So, is this your first company you're working with? You just graduated, right?"

Damn! Do I look that young? Anyway. you made my day sister!!Yeahhhh!!!!

Merawat luka yang terpendam

Bila dengar lagu Liza Hanim ni, dengan suara yang sedap and lirik yang power, memang best betul. Sayu je rasa dengar....

Merawat luka yang terpendam
Kesannya masih berdarah
Hendak ku tangiskan tiada pedih
Yang telah terjadi padaku
Pasrah aku terima

Kau hujankan penghinaan
Aku renjis kesabaran
Aku curah pertanyaan
Adakah bahagia nanti akan menyingkir hiba
Dalam ribut ada hina
Dalam tenang ada sabar
Dalam tangis sendirian
Berkemungkinankan bahagia nanti akan menyusur tiba

Bukan ku mengundang bencana
Juga tak ku menabur dosa
Tak dapat dinafi kebetulan
Dugaan menimpa diriku
Rela aku terima


Kebetulan...atau sudah tertulis. Entahlah...tiada siapa yang boleh menjawab kecuali yang Esa.Apa-apa pun lagu ni memang best!

Email from a friend......

Yesterday, I received an email from a friend who is far away in Slovakia....hmm..I think now he's working in Austria (he called me from there 2 weeks back).

A caption of what he wrote;

One sunny day, we were sitting in the refectory at NCN and chatting as usual. Everything was just great. Classes, friends (teachers included in friends :) ), fun, freedom, "food"...JUST GREAT!. And exactly during this fantastic moment one thought was running through my head. Will I see these people after finishing the course again? That day I said to these friends: "Next year I will organise a trip to Slovakia , so we can meet each other again.

The next year is exactly a year right now.Oh Michal, you don't know how much I miss you, Magda, Elena, Elaine, Peter and the rest of our friends (the list goes on and on.) I wish I could be visit and meet you this year. I wish I am in one of the Europe countries now so that it'll be nearer and cheaper to go to Slovakia .

As you know, I don't drink beer and I don't eat pork (you are a vegetarian yourself - so no problem about that). I know if I were to pay you a visit - you'll be a great host.That's for sure. But I just can't make it this time round. I hope I'll be able to do it next year (if the offer still stands!)

To others - you've got Michal's email. Go ahead and enjoy yourselves, ok!! Don't forget to send some photos!!.

And Michal - thank you for calling me all the way from Austria. To answer your question....Yup....I'm still single and enjoying life like nobody's business......hahaha.....

Social work....why don't some people get it?

My involvement with the basketball coaching is solely based on social work. Yes..social work means no salary, no pay....just the love towards basketball and the kids, and the feeling and needs of contributing back to the society.

Just imagine, travelling from KL to JB,5 hours trip by bus, almost every weekend is not that easy. I need to have enough rest, to recuperate, as fast as I can before the starting of a new week. Quite a number of times, my bus leaves JB at 7pm, arrives in KL at 12.30midnight, and straight away start working at 2am.Until recently , my boss gave a remark," are you sure you have a place to stay or are you just camping at the road side?".

I'm not complaining about the trip - as by now, I am so used to the travelling and having just enough rest to start work the next hour or the next day.

BUT....there are just some people out there who do not understand what we do. Who do not believe that we are doing this sincerely by not getting anything back in return. Just the look on the kids, celebrating and having fun, makes our day, satisfy us at the end of the day.

These people, among all, are the people who are supposed to be close to them. Who are supposed to be their mentor, their guide, their motivator, their temporary parents. Somebody who they can respect - a respect that should be earned and not forced.

How could this somebody, whom they respect, they look up to, stabbed them on their back? Stabbed us with a long samurai sword (if I can describe it in words). Not only with a stab, but again, and again, and again. These girls have respect for you, how could you do such a thing? The memories that they have , especially in their Form 5 years, will last forever - especially when they almost becoming a champ. Almost!

Not only the girls, I had high regards for you when the 1st time we met. I respected you.I thought you were different. I thought you were one of the 'rare' ones who would understand the needs and wants of the girls. Well, I was wrong. Totally wrong. One story after another, which I heard from the girls and also another reliable source, made me realised - I was damn wrong about you.

What makes me don't understand is:

-why did you do that to hurt the girls' feelings?
-why did you scold them for the things that they do not have control on ?
-why, you, as their 'guardian' supposed to take care of them, did not do so?
-Do you hate our 'organisation' that much?
-or do you hate the way we interrupt you and your so called 'responsibilities'? as if we are telling you what need to be done.
-or do you actually hate me in person?


Well, if you are a gentleman, do come to me and explain. Unless you've got no balls to do so. Hmm....looking at it, you might even try to make a joke out of this issues.

Let me repeat this again...we are here to do social work, social responsibilities. We've got nothing to lose.

Tourist?

My trip to JB this time was very interesting. Came across a new experience; which I believe its kind of funny yet proud.

I had to take LRT from KL Sentral to Masjid Jamek in order to go to Puduraya. Went to KFC to get a light meal - just to make sure that I don't starve during the journey (I usually sleep the whole way to JB ..heheh). When I was queuing up at KFC, a staff was helping the cashier to take the orders while we were queuing up at the counter. She was asking everybody in my line ,"Selamat petang cik, makan sini ke bungkus?". When it came to my turn, she changed it to ,"Good afternoon, having here or take away?" Well, coming from a customer service staff - it was normal. Placed my order, paid, and then went off to catch the LRT to Masjid Jamek.

At the Plaza Putra LRT-STAR station, I had problems with my Touch n Go /My card - the exit machine didn't seem to read the card. Then I heard a voice, the uncle who was manning the manual tickets shouted," Excuse me, the other exit please!". I gave him this weird look but still followed to his instruction and moved to the other machine. Wow! This is impressive. They speak English to us.

Upon entering the Puduraya - at the busy, full of people, ticket counters, I heard a few voices which I think they were asking me, " Ticket, ticket. You want ticket to Ipoh?" Walking towards the Transnasional booth, then only I realised that they were all trying to communicate to me in English.

With 2 layers of t-shirt , a pair of GAP jeans, a cap and sunglasses on top of my head, and a huge knapsack on my back (it looks as though as I'm backpacking), I realised, maybe I did look like a tourist. That explains why they spoke to me in English! That was fun! I should do this more often!

People in your life......for a reason

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a
need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a
difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you
physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an
end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act
up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been
answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your
turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace
or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season .

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you
must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job
is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned
to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is
said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a
reason, a season or are a lifetime.

THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN MY LIFE - BE IT WITH A REASON, DURING A SEASON OR FOR A LIFETIME.... YOU MADE ME THE PERSON I AM TODAY.
(just incase I will never have the chance to do this in person......)

She returned, she conquered, she left

I always thought loving someone was the greatest feeling, but I realised that loving a friend is even better. We lose people we love but we never lose true friends.

As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have friendship, each day is never a waste.

Friendship is a language spoken by heart.....not written on paper, not given by pledge...it is a promise we keep in touch.

Take care, my friend.

A friend returns...

For the 1st time...after quite sometime..

'Missing in Action' of a friend, whom I thought I couldn't care less...

became quite meaningful.....

and I was shocked to find myself...

smiling all the way...

while talking to him on the phone...

driving from KL to Bandar Sri Damansara....

And I really didn't think...

that he's return...

would give me such an effect....

Visit Malaysia - Bt Caves

Huh! At last! After a few months of planning to go to Bt Caves for our "Mount Kinabalu' training program, we managed to have our first session yesterday evening. From down there, at the car park, it didn't look that high. When we were about to start, I told my friend that 'ahh..its not that high. Only 272 steps. ' Excited about the climb, we totally forgot to do some stretching for the legs. Half way up - when i turn behind, my friend was still half way through. I guess she was 'suffering'. I didn't say I wasn't but, I just pushed myself up.

When I reached at the entrance of the caves - wow! The feeling of achievement is good. One - because I managed to climb up within a few minutes only. And two - because I was quite scared going there. Its supposed to be a sacred place for the Hindu's. We definitely have to respect certain rules.

Yesterday, planned to do 2 rounds but managed to do only one. Maybe if we were to take our own sweet time, then 2 rounds should be of any problems.( Too eager to reach up there!) But I promised to myself, there will definitely be a second round onwards - this time with stretchings before hand.

The feelings? My legs were trembling and out of control for the next 1 hour after we came down! Hahahaa... Thank god it wasn't me who was supposed to drive afterwards...


p/s: I've taken some photos from the top. Even my boss said he has yet to take some photos from there as usually it will be packed with people during the Thaipusam Celebration.Another achievement!
To Hana - congrats!! You did it!!!

4 different individuals

4 people - with 4 different styles. We were kind of the centre of attention ..oh yeah especially when we went for dessert at Secret Recipe (mind you, we had 'Supir-man' with us).I hadn't seen Idlan seen 1991 but I guess she looks the same - but a bit on the plump side..hehehe.

Guys, err...I mean gals, I had one of the best lunch ever with all of you.Even though the food was only Nando's (for Idlan its something that she was looking forward to as according to her and a latest resource the ones in the UK is not Halal) , the company that matters.

We had conversations and jokes and laughs - overall, I can say that all 4 of us had the same wave lengths! And maybe interests too? hmm....I wonder.

And...look at who had her focus on the camera.... She said she just learned how to smile and was eager to show it off! Bravo Esty.....with that sexy stare...hahaha...

Birthdays - is it supposed to bring sweet memories all the time?

31st May was Dynamites team manager's birthday. Last friday, was another friend's birthday.Monday - was another friend's birthday. Well, that reminds me of my own which is coming soon. No, this time its not about numbers, not about age.I'm not worried about that anymore. Its about memories and experience.

I was thinking to write or not to write but then since I need to release this feeling of hatred, angry and sad, I feel like writing. Every year, I believe majority of us look forward to celebrate their birthdays expecially with their families or friends. Some families just do not believe in celebrating it, therefore they would turn to next closest person or people or friends.

This year, I don't feel like celebrating.Not only that, I feel like I would want to go away, away on that particular date for 24 to 48 hours and just be on my own without any wish from the people I know. When you wish somebody on their birthday, you definitely wish them as 'Happy Birthday'. But how could I be 'happy' when the worst news ever received was on my birthday. The news that changed my life forever. The news that I did not expect it to come especially when it was concerning the person once I loved most.

I thought I've overcome this issue. I thought for the past 2-3 months I was ok. Well, I hate it. I hate it so much when the important date of my life is being painted by a black memory - something which is impossible to forget but yet has been forgiven. Something that I would have to bear with it for the rest of my life.

I've been thinking hard about it for the past few days. The nearer the date, the worst its becoming - and I hate this feeling. My heart hurts when thinking about it.I think the best way to overcome this is to go away, somewhere nobody knows me. Somewhere that I can meet new friends and hang out with them for those 2 days. I want to do something crazy.I want to do something different. Something that will be the best ever experience and memories in my life.Something which will ovewrite the memories I had last year. And I plan not to switch on my phone or read any smses for those 2 days - maybe even get somebody to go thru it and delete it.

For now, what I know is that I want to do something which is really, really different and will be the best experience or moments of my life. And what is the plan? I have yet to figure it out.

Bully and lectures

Yesterday, despite of the tiredness and lack of sleep finishing my shift at 10am, forced my way to One U to meet some friend.Really old friends. Friendship which started as far as 19 years ago. They were Nik, Esty and Idlan.Yup....Idlan is back here for a few weeks in Msia for her sister's wedding.

There we were, at Nando's having our 'brunch'( 1/4 and 1/2 chicken meals) and laughing out loud remembering the good old days we had in STF.Nik and myself are seniors to Idlan and Esty. When we were in school, we were not close. I didn't even have the opportunity to sit down with them and chat like how we did yesterday. Well, Esty were quite famous herself among some other seniors. So, I wouldn't want to disturb another person's sister.

One of the topic discussed was about youngsters nowadays -to be more precise about our current juniors in school.They are so much different from us . Nowadays, the seniors consistently bully the juniors. This happens in everyday activities such as asking them to wash their clothes and ironing them, asking the juniors to take their share from the dining hall for them and other things. As I remembered, we never did this. Well, we did ask the juniors to do something for us, but not washing and ironing clothes - that's for sure. I can guarantee that. And not only that, I remembered that sometimes we even gave them 'upah' or token of thanks for doing something for us.

Another interesting topic was about 'lecturing'. Hmmm.....I was there when my so called 'gang' lectured some juniors about something which I could not remember. But as I remembered , I was just there physically present and listening to the rest of the members giving their 'lectures' . I feel I was more like the 'bouncer' for my group.I don't believe in lecturing - I'm more of a giving advise person or just scold them .That's it.

The juniors nowadays, gave the excuse that they are doing this because their seniors did that to them when they were younger. Well, my juniors, for your information, I was 'lectured' almost everyweek when I was in form 1.Especially by the seniors in my dorm. But , that's not a good excuse to lecture somebody else when you are a senior.
And I think , other than being the 'bodyguard' for my so called 'group' I survived till form 5 without lecturing anybody in person.

Once upon a time....

Once upon a time...
in a land far, far away....
there is a Prince Charming A, who fell in love with Princess B.
Right after school - both the Prince and Princess were eager to meet each other and go out for a date.
So, they planned.
When the time came,
Prince Charming A met Princess B for a lunch appointment.
They had lunch,
they watched movies,
they chatted together,
they took photos together.
they let the birds and bees pass the good news around..

They wanted the whole world to know
how happy they are together

BUT

they are only 18 years (++)
this is only their first love,
it might also be puppy love
what if Prince Charming meet a new Princess in the next few months or years
what if the Princess meets a new person

Will the birds and the bees still sing for them?
Will the creatures of the woods stop buzzing about them?
Will the monkeys stop swinging around?

Will the new Prince Charming be comfortable to be with Princess B?
Well, the new Princess will definitely be happy going out with Prince Charming A!
That is for sure!

Enough?

I'm lost...
maybe confused....
too many things that I plan to do...

Can I be a car dealer/seller?
Can I be a good trainer?
Can I be a good coach?
Can I be a jewellery dealer?

And at the same time

Can I still play basketball 4 times a week?
Can I pack and move back to my mom's in the next 2 weeks?
Can I have enough rest for my shift work?
Can I start practising for 'our' Mount KK climb in September?
Can I still meet my friends for lunch/dinner?
Can I join my cousins for the coming fishing trip in Terengganu?


I don't have enough hours in a day
I don't have enough days in a week

I do not wish to have more.....but I know I don't have enough.
And as a human - we always do not have enough of everything.
I have to admit that.

Laziness creeping in

It feels so weird, waking up this morning, not thinking of anything. Not thinking of the tournament, not thinking whether have the girls done their morning run, not thinking whether are they having any practise. Not thinking of their performance and fitness.

Given the past few months, since August, this is the 1st time I woke up late on a Saturday and Sunday morning - at 7am. Yes, you heard me right. For the past 43 weeks, there was no chance of me getting out of the bed late. I didn't complaint. I wasn't complaining. And now, waking up at 7am , I am complaining. I feel lazy, I feel tired, I feel bored.

At 12.30noon - I was still yawning due to the sleepiness. Is it because that my body automatically realised, temporarily, in this 2 weeks time, I can relax. Just relax and do my own stuff without thinking of other people? Hmm...maybe....

Well, one thing I know is, this is bad - bad for me. Its making me lazy. And I really hate the feeling of laziness creeping into my brain...helppppp

A lesson learnt

During the past one month, a lot of things had been happening in regards to preparing the team for the national tournament. Feelings were hurt, a lot of heartbreaking moments arised and others, tears and blood were involved.
Being an adult, a teacher, a trainer, a friend, a sister, an assistant coach, a senior, all these has played a role in trying to solve the issues which had arised.

Our girls lost in the final against the usual champ. They lost by only 7 points after trying their very best to catch up in the last 3 minutes of the game. My feelings towards the lost - numb. Nothing.I can say its a balance of satisfaction and regret. I am satisfied because I believe I have prepared the girls well in terms of their fitness level and their fundamentals ( with the help of my current coach). So far, compared to past years, this year's players are really fit and able to outrun all the teams.

Regret? - yes. Because I saw it was coming and I didn't do anything. Didn't manage to do anything. I saw that the team had the chance to choose whether to be a champion or be happy to be together with the person who they think can understand them better. I regretted that I was not able to persuade them to decide the best for the team - the best for the school.
Yes, they were given the choice to choose:

a -somebody who can help them to win
or
b - somebody who can 'understand' their feelings and emotions well in the court.

I guess, they've made their choice and the result - was their sadness being handled well enough by the person whom they chose when they lost in the final?
Players - you know who you are , I hope, I really hope this will be the best lesson you have ever learnt. In the real life - you can either go for your objective or you go for the person who takes care of your heart. To achieve something is not easy. As the famous saying - no pain no gain. But the end result will make you forget of the pain.

For the F5s, I'm sorry for the loss. As I've mentioned again and again before the final match - there's no turning back time. The decision we make is crucial in deciding whether we want to be the champion or not. And you've made the decision. From my view, you were good, you were fit,you had strong fundamentals.Its just that the strategy during the game was wrong. Totally wrong. And because of somebody who was too ego to listen to other people's advise - you lost.

For the F4, 3, 2 and 1s, you still have the chance of winning in the coming years.We'll make sure you will be the new champ next year onwards!