Too many things happening lately. Not because of my coaching- but more of the job. It was very, very hectic and mind tiring until at one time, I totally forgot about 'missing' my guy . At all. That bad.
Changes is inevitable.I admit and accept that with no issues.But when changes are being done every day, its kind of not so good as it maybe one day, without us, the management noticing, there will be loopholes on other things- be it discipline, defalcation, training, quality etc.. Well, let's see how things are going to be later.In this kind of area, I usually have strong sixth sense, or gut feel. Always, when I bring up a matter, others would say, "No lah, that won't happen. There shouldn't be any problems". Then, soon in the future, when shit happens, then its my turn to say, "See, I told ya. I knew this would happen". That is why my ex-boss said that I'm opposite the rest of my ex-colleagues. I will always be the only one who has a totally different idea. The frustrating part of being me(having this different ideas) is- I always get told off the first time (Oh..It hurts. As if I don't know what I'm talking about). And later, I am the one who is needed to solve the issue !
Alhamdulillah, Thank god, as of now, I have a great team that I'm working with. Even without me, the team would move on its own without me being worried if I'm not around. Just that, to be an 'excellent' team in everything, we need to touch up in certain areas. Not much. And with this changes happening, even a good team sometimes face difficulties and issues.I don't blame them. I just hope that the younger(in terms of age and experience) team members are patient enough to go thorugh all these.
Besides work, tomorrow after work, I'll be leaving to Kota Tinggi with Hana for the basketball tournament. Its definitely a break from work but a different kind of stress is coming up.The gals 1st game is on Sunday. As of now, I know that I will not be accessible to internet, maybe even have no time to do so. So this will be my last posting before the tournament and hopefully by Thursday night, I'll be posting good news about it on here, Insya Allah.
The coaches and the coordinators of R2V are confident they will be able to do it this time. We just need the gals to relax, play their game, and the most important thing -have FUN. For Paen and Seha, this is your final year. If you want to have the best memories ever, then the team needs you two 200% .
All the best Dynamites!! I know you can do it!
Friday, May 25
Tuesday, May 22
New 'formal' wardrobe
Last weekend, when I went down to JB, it was solely to be a coaching trip , the final trip before the tournament this weekend but since the girls had to attend classes on Saturday morning, and I didn't want to spend time doing nothing at the dorm, I ended up going to Holiday Plaza again.(excuses.....I know)
My aim was to go and colour my hair. Hmm....after giving it a second thought, colouring hair would cost me, the cheapest there about RM100, ( hair grows and needs to be trimmed and with me wearing scarf - no point)I ended up swapping the idea with shopping for my formal shoes and handbags( I've posted some recommendations here). I have not gone for any shopping spree for the past 2 years. The last time I had when I was in the UK with my brother. That was the last time I managed to get some good and comfy shoes which fit my 'sasquatch' kind of feet. And I've never, ever bought any formal handbags since the 1st day I started working 10-12 years ago. It has always been semi-formal. (maybe this should be in my birthday request list this year...hmmm...)
The shoes, I didn't plan to buy any. Only the handbag was in my mind. Since I actually arrived in HP earlier than the security guards open the door of majority of the shops, I ended up having Big Breakfast at McD first(in HP-its a chinese dominated shopping complex - no proper Halal food court as I know of). Parkson opened its doors first, and while waiting for the handbag shops to open, went wandering around in the shoes department.
I think the girl thought I was joking in the 1st place. She asked," Ye kak, boleh saya tolong?". I said. "Yes....saiz apa yang paling besar? Saiz kaki saya susah nak cari.". Then she said, " Why don't akak tengok design mana akak suka, nanti saya carikan". I replied," That's ok. I don't want to waste my time and get frustrated later bila takde my size. Can you just go through your stocks, and tell me which one is available and take it out for me to try." You can see the look on her face macam tak percaya I said that.
I was being really serious. Comparing UK and here, I hate getting frustrated when I ask for a design, its always not available in my size.I am very particular with the comfortability of my shoes - no compromising on it. That is why I always prefer sport shoes with most casual wears. So I determined to do it this way this time. She suggested a few designs, which I agreed to have a look. I felt like Cinderella when she brought out about 8-10 pairs of shoes which is available in the size I've requested. There it was, in front of me all the designs.
Trying one after another, making sure its really comfortable (with my weight and the time I would be spending wearing these shoes), in my mind matching it with some clothes that I have be it formal office, baju kurung or maybe with my fave jeans , I decided on this 3 pairs -;-)
Hmm..... Well ..I wouldn't have bought it in the first place if there's no SALE . I ended up paying only about Rm60 per pair. This is really a bargain price for me.Considering its Bonia/Sembonia brand and with my size, even the cheapest 'Princess' brand here starts at RM89++. (for people who wears 10 and above, Princess is where we usually get our 'affordable' shoes from)
And now,at least I don't feel that guilty.Other than owning 3 pairs of sport shoes, 3 pairs basketball shoes, 2 pairs boots, a pair of office shoes(which I've been wearing for the past 2 years), I've added 3 more pairs of formal shoes to my wardrobe. Phew.....that should last until the next one or 2 more years.
And below is the bag which I bought. I fell in love the first time I saw it. The price was a bit more than what I was willing to pay, so, after a few rounds in the mall trying to find another shop which could offer a better price, or maybe has a another design which would change my mind about this, I still ended up buying this and managed to get a good price on it.(I hope I did!)
And from my last visit, window shopping around, I also fell in love with this one, which could turn into a sling bag (me and sling bags - inseperable), I also ended up getting this. I know, I know, I hate myself when this happens. This is excessive shopping - more than I could imagine myself buying. This was definitely a major shopping trip for me.
And darling, no, I'm not buying all these because of you. I would never, ever change myself again, because of someone, not even you(not that I don't love you). I did that once, so not this time. Well, unless if you really think that I'm doing this for you, than you should reimburse me! As easy as that. Call me blunt - as what my boss said, but that's how I feel. At least, I'm not pretending or faking it.
My aim was to go and colour my hair. Hmm....after giving it a second thought, colouring hair would cost me, the cheapest there about RM100, ( hair grows and needs to be trimmed and with me wearing scarf - no point)I ended up swapping the idea with shopping for my formal shoes and handbags( I've posted some recommendations here). I have not gone for any shopping spree for the past 2 years. The last time I had when I was in the UK with my brother. That was the last time I managed to get some good and comfy shoes which fit my 'sasquatch' kind of feet. And I've never, ever bought any formal handbags since the 1st day I started working 10-12 years ago. It has always been semi-formal. (maybe this should be in my birthday request list this year...hmmm...)
The shoes, I didn't plan to buy any. Only the handbag was in my mind. Since I actually arrived in HP earlier than the security guards open the door of majority of the shops, I ended up having Big Breakfast at McD first(in HP-its a chinese dominated shopping complex - no proper Halal food court as I know of). Parkson opened its doors first, and while waiting for the handbag shops to open, went wandering around in the shoes department.
I think the girl thought I was joking in the 1st place. She asked," Ye kak, boleh saya tolong?". I said. "Yes....saiz apa yang paling besar? Saiz kaki saya susah nak cari.". Then she said, " Why don't akak tengok design mana akak suka, nanti saya carikan". I replied," That's ok. I don't want to waste my time and get frustrated later bila takde my size. Can you just go through your stocks, and tell me which one is available and take it out for me to try." You can see the look on her face macam tak percaya I said that.
I was being really serious. Comparing UK and here, I hate getting frustrated when I ask for a design, its always not available in my size.I am very particular with the comfortability of my shoes - no compromising on it. That is why I always prefer sport shoes with most casual wears. So I determined to do it this way this time. She suggested a few designs, which I agreed to have a look. I felt like Cinderella when she brought out about 8-10 pairs of shoes which is available in the size I've requested. There it was, in front of me all the designs.
Trying one after another, making sure its really comfortable (with my weight and the time I would be spending wearing these shoes), in my mind matching it with some clothes that I have be it formal office, baju kurung or maybe with my fave jeans , I decided on this 3 pairs -;-)
Hmm..... Well ..I wouldn't have bought it in the first place if there's no SALE . I ended up paying only about Rm60 per pair. This is really a bargain price for me.Considering its Bonia/Sembonia brand and with my size, even the cheapest 'Princess' brand here starts at RM89++. (for people who wears 10 and above, Princess is where we usually get our 'affordable' shoes from)And now,at least I don't feel that guilty.Other than owning 3 pairs of sport shoes, 3 pairs basketball shoes, 2 pairs boots, a pair of office shoes(which I've been wearing for the past 2 years), I've added 3 more pairs of formal shoes to my wardrobe. Phew.....that should last until the next one or 2 more years.
And below is the bag which I bought. I fell in love the first time I saw it. The price was a bit more than what I was willing to pay, so, after a few rounds in the mall trying to find another shop which could offer a better price, or maybe has a another design which would change my mind about this, I still ended up buying this and managed to get a good price on it.(I hope I did!)
And from my last visit, window shopping around, I also fell in love with this one, which could turn into a sling bag (me and sling bags - inseperable), I also ended up getting this. I know, I know, I hate myself when this happens. This is excessive shopping - more than I could imagine myself buying. This was definitely a major shopping trip for me.
And darling, no, I'm not buying all these because of you. I would never, ever change myself again, because of someone, not even you(not that I don't love you). I did that once, so not this time. Well, unless if you really think that I'm doing this for you, than you should reimburse me! As easy as that. Call me blunt - as what my boss said, but that's how I feel. At least, I'm not pretending or faking it.
Monday, May 21
2nd year Anniversary
I came across this from my bro's profile page.
Today, is the 2nd year anniversary of my blog. I personally can't believe this blog has lasted for 2 years. When I first started to write, I didn't have a PC at my own home, I didn't also think that things are going to turn the way they have turned now.
May 2005 - Life was great with my brother's family in Notts. And because of my love into sushi - I learned how to make it- even planned to open a 'sushi junction/kiosk'! I also went for my first ever camping trip.
May 2006 - Most of my time spent with either the Cagers or Dynamites. I was also struggling with my new lifestyle - a 24hours job with part time basketball coaching and being alone at home on most weekends.
May 2007 - Less time spent with the teams.More quality time spent on my own at home with my PC, DVD player and HiFi set.Oh ya...and my comfy bed. Frankly, I'm much more 'stable' emotionally and mentally now, Alhamdulillah.Currently I'm also attached to a person who has given more meaning to my life .(I wasn't looking for new relationship - but things do happen!) I do look forward to taking more pictures, to laughing more and to falling in love like I've never loved before.
This blog really captures all the sweet and bitter memories of mine. It does provide a support; a place where I could write whatever things -how I feel and what I think of , whether I have that special person or not in my life. People at times are too busy to listen (with the excuses that comes with it..) but not this blog of mine.
Insya Allah, I will keep on trashing my feelings and happenings here; for my personal vewing in the future.
Note: Its kind of nice reading my own postings since day 1. It's like a play back of a video in my head.
Thursday, May 17
Energy level vs motivation
I feel like I'm going to wear out my energy soon. Everyday since Monday, I had to work late. I'm still lucky as I'm working morning - therefore if I need to work long hours its from 7am till maybe 6 or 7pm. Just imagine if I were to work Night which is from 11pm to 7am. After sleeping for about 4 hours then I need to come back to work - like what happened to the other supervisor. Pity her.We are having some issues lately and this needs to be solved A.S.A.P.
Meanwhile, Alhamdulillah, some things do motivate me:
-I'm going on a one week leave from office job about a week from now to coach the girls during the tournament.
-I'm going to JB tomorrow to make sure the girls are ok. Meeting the kids do release some stress.
-I might colour or do highlights to my hair this weekend (hmm...will aubergine suits me?)
- As per my last visit to JB and did some window shopping with some friends, I might end up buying a handbag. Not hoping to get one, though.
- I'm going to repair a broken ring soon and will be able to wear it again. It does not mean anything anymore other than I love the design of it.
By the way, just got know another friend has a blog. I love what she wrote on "I see fake people". I totally agree. And I do hate fake people.
Meanwhile, Alhamdulillah, some things do motivate me:
-I'm going on a one week leave from office job about a week from now to coach the girls during the tournament.
-I'm going to JB tomorrow to make sure the girls are ok. Meeting the kids do release some stress.
-I might colour or do highlights to my hair this weekend (hmm...will aubergine suits me?)
- As per my last visit to JB and did some window shopping with some friends, I might end up buying a handbag. Not hoping to get one, though.
- I'm going to repair a broken ring soon and will be able to wear it again. It does not mean anything anymore other than I love the design of it.
By the way, just got know another friend has a blog. I love what she wrote on "I see fake people". I totally agree. And I do hate fake people.
Wednesday, May 16
Vegetarian food and plants
Had dinner with a friend whom we have not catch up since few months back as I am too busy with my schedule.(I'm admitting its my fault, ok!). She's going to get married sometime end of July so I can't take for granted that there's 2 more months to go to meet her before her big day.
We had a great time chatting over dinner at IKEA. Other than sharing our interesting stories, we also indulged on the food. I have not been eating well for the past 3 days, so I saw this as an opportunity to eat the so-called'healthy food' . I actually thought of ordering the salmon dish but upon reaching the counter I saw this bowl of fish cutlets like tenggiri with some pieces of aubergine and long beans. I asked the guy what was it supposed to be. It was actually a vegetarian fish curry - the cutlet which looked like fish is actually made from soya. Hmm.....interesting I thought, and ended up ordering the dish.
Beyond expectation, the curry really tasted like fish curry and it was really good - didn't expect that to come from a place like IKEA. If its a local Mamak's Kari Kepala Ikan- it won't be a surprise. But this is IKEA. I did enjoy it a lot. So did my friend.
Hadn't been there for quite sometime - both of us agreed to walk around. I wanted to look for a cheap single 'fitted' bed sheet which could be used during my travel, the accessories metal 'tree' and some other things. Stopped by at the 'plants department'. It looks green and nice and really easy to take care of with instructions given on the pot.Moreover, I don't have any other living things in my apartment except myself and some ants. I felt like buying one or two of those small plants which costs about RM1.50 each only. Then I recalled, even a cactus plant, which seldomly needs watering died on me, this plant could die faster. Better not. Don't ever think about it.
I also managed to ask her advise about SCUBA diving related matters and the basic equiptment which is advisable to get for my personal use. One of my greatest dream is becoming real soon, Insya Allah. I've allocated some budget to get the license sometime in June. Something that I have looked forward for a long time. It was not approved earlier but now given a green light by my darling. If everything goes well, Insya Allah it will be another achievement for me.
We had a great time chatting over dinner at IKEA. Other than sharing our interesting stories, we also indulged on the food. I have not been eating well for the past 3 days, so I saw this as an opportunity to eat the so-called'healthy food' . I actually thought of ordering the salmon dish but upon reaching the counter I saw this bowl of fish cutlets like tenggiri with some pieces of aubergine and long beans. I asked the guy what was it supposed to be. It was actually a vegetarian fish curry - the cutlet which looked like fish is actually made from soya. Hmm.....interesting I thought, and ended up ordering the dish.
Beyond expectation, the curry really tasted like fish curry and it was really good - didn't expect that to come from a place like IKEA. If its a local Mamak's Kari Kepala Ikan- it won't be a surprise. But this is IKEA. I did enjoy it a lot. So did my friend.
Hadn't been there for quite sometime - both of us agreed to walk around. I wanted to look for a cheap single 'fitted' bed sheet which could be used during my travel, the accessories metal 'tree' and some other things. Stopped by at the 'plants department'. It looks green and nice and really easy to take care of with instructions given on the pot.Moreover, I don't have any other living things in my apartment except myself and some ants. I felt like buying one or two of those small plants which costs about RM1.50 each only. Then I recalled, even a cactus plant, which seldomly needs watering died on me, this plant could die faster. Better not. Don't ever think about it.
I also managed to ask her advise about SCUBA diving related matters and the basic equiptment which is advisable to get for my personal use. One of my greatest dream is becoming real soon, Insya Allah. I've allocated some budget to get the license sometime in June. Something that I have looked forward for a long time. It was not approved earlier but now given a green light by my darling. If everything goes well, Insya Allah it will be another achievement for me.
Tuesday, May 15
Sleeping therapy
I'm tired.I'm stressed. I need rest but I can't sleep! I seldomly get this problem of can't shut down my system when I need to do so. Feel like going window shopping tonight to release some stress but too lazy to get dress and go out. So, ended up doing window shopping online.(which I never, ever do before this other than buying airline tickets) The interesting part is...I surfed a site which I have never done it before and actually 'kutuk' my ex-colleague for getting items from this "brand" .
But after sometime, I knew why he only shop from there. I, too, fell in love with some designs. Simplicity sometimes are more attractive.
Come on...make me sleepy please....I'm trying to sleep here.
Well, I'm still not sleepy but my eyes are tired of the glare from my PC. Its time for me to force myself to sleep as tomorrow is another long day to go. Now.....where is that eye mask thingy of mine which I got from BA earlier?..hmm.....maybe I should put on Anuar Zain's song.
Contributing is better
One fine day, someting nice is said.
On the next day, something else is mentioned
Life can never be fair.
Let be people.
Now, I'd rather stay focus to make sure my girls win
Compare to my own personal needs on certain things
As the latter means people can easily hurt me
I just have to make sure
I don't make the girls
Feel bad as I am right now
To contribute and focus on others' needs
Feels much better than to focus on my own needs
As I know and I do my best ; not wanting to hurt their feelings
Like how some people hurt me
I've always believe
I'm born to contribute than to gain
And that is the way I'm leading my life again...
On the next day, something else is mentioned
Life can never be fair.
Let be people.
Now, I'd rather stay focus to make sure my girls win
Compare to my own personal needs on certain things
As the latter means people can easily hurt me
I just have to make sure
I don't make the girls
Feel bad as I am right now
To contribute and focus on others' needs
Feels much better than to focus on my own needs
As I know and I do my best ; not wanting to hurt their feelings
Like how some people hurt me
I've always believe
I'm born to contribute than to gain
And that is the way I'm leading my life again...
Sunday, May 13
Single or married...Happy Mother's Day
Today is the last weekend for this month for me to really sleep, relax, have my own time and also make myself bored to the max.
For the past 4 weekends I've been busy, either doing things with friends, went back to Terengganu for a short trip, went to watch a basketball tournament or even went down to JB to coach - there was always people around me. The moment I don't have any plans, I will spend the whole 24 to 48 hours at home - doing nothing. Nothing means waking up late, staying in bed, flipping through the Ikea magazine in detail,back to sleeping again, and now its already 9.00pm. How fast time flies.
Being married for 8 years, and the last 2 years was back to single life, there is definitely a big difference.I'm still trying to adjust myself to this new life. ( Especially during the weekends...arghghhh!!)
The good part of it is, nobody is there to :
- pressure you to clean the house. (not that I was pressured)
- ask you why did you come back late. (I do miss being questioned, as I know the person cares and jealous)
- telling you to cook. (I only cook the food that I like)
- remind me there's a lot of clothes need to be washed and folded (this happens seldomly)
The sad part is, when you have the break from all this activities, you come back to an empty house and there is no one :
- to greet you.
- to give you a hug.
- to talk to you.
- to give you advise and pacify you when you need one.
- to just lazying around on the weekends
- to walk in the park and hold your hand
As some of my friends said that I'm lucky not to have children and could go back to 'single' lifestyle - but in my case, I don't really go out partying. I don't really enjoy being single. The worst part is when you call your friends to go out with and they said they are spending time with their family or bf.
Luckily the next 2 weekends will be spent with the girls. That will take 2 of my weekends away from staying at home, alone. But these 2 weekends are the final weekends for this year before the basketball season for this year ends. And after that, I need to fill in the blanks. Hmm...As my company is going 24/7 by June, I foresee myself volunteering to do OT on Saturdays and Sundays.
Alhamdulillah as of now, I do have somebody who cares for me.Eventhough he is nowhere nearby and we might only meet in October (I know that's 5 months away!) And I do hope he would be able, one day, to 'fill in' my sad part above.I just have to remind myself to have faith and tawakkal to Allah that I will not be mistreated again.
To mama.....even though we don't hug, it does not mean I care less, even though I never mention the words , does not mean that I love you less, but I've been too independent due to our family history. I just want you to know, with your support, I am doing ok..alhamdulillah. Thank you for everything. I love you. Happy Mother's Day.
Received a call from a good friend today - she just found out her husband is having an affair . With 4 kids, and her sister's wedding 2 weeks away, this is the last thing on earth that she should be thinking off. I just met her about 3 weeks ago- happy updating me with her family stories. And now....its the opposite. You are a strong mom,P. Stay strong as your kids need you. I trust you know what is the best decision for you.
For the past 4 weekends I've been busy, either doing things with friends, went back to Terengganu for a short trip, went to watch a basketball tournament or even went down to JB to coach - there was always people around me. The moment I don't have any plans, I will spend the whole 24 to 48 hours at home - doing nothing. Nothing means waking up late, staying in bed, flipping through the Ikea magazine in detail,back to sleeping again, and now its already 9.00pm. How fast time flies.
Being married for 8 years, and the last 2 years was back to single life, there is definitely a big difference.I'm still trying to adjust myself to this new life. ( Especially during the weekends...arghghhh!!)
The good part of it is, nobody is there to :
- pressure you to clean the house. (not that I was pressured)
- ask you why did you come back late. (I do miss being questioned, as I know the person cares and jealous)
- telling you to cook. (I only cook the food that I like)
- remind me there's a lot of clothes need to be washed and folded (this happens seldomly)
The sad part is, when you have the break from all this activities, you come back to an empty house and there is no one :
- to greet you.
- to give you a hug.
- to talk to you.
- to give you advise and pacify you when you need one.
- to just lazying around on the weekends
- to walk in the park and hold your hand
As some of my friends said that I'm lucky not to have children and could go back to 'single' lifestyle - but in my case, I don't really go out partying. I don't really enjoy being single. The worst part is when you call your friends to go out with and they said they are spending time with their family or bf.
Luckily the next 2 weekends will be spent with the girls. That will take 2 of my weekends away from staying at home, alone. But these 2 weekends are the final weekends for this year before the basketball season for this year ends. And after that, I need to fill in the blanks. Hmm...As my company is going 24/7 by June, I foresee myself volunteering to do OT on Saturdays and Sundays.
Alhamdulillah as of now, I do have somebody who cares for me.Eventhough he is nowhere nearby and we might only meet in October (I know that's 5 months away!) And I do hope he would be able, one day, to 'fill in' my sad part above.I just have to remind myself to have faith and tawakkal to Allah that I will not be mistreated again.
To mama.....even though we don't hug, it does not mean I care less, even though I never mention the words , does not mean that I love you less, but I've been too independent due to our family history. I just want you to know, with your support, I am doing ok..alhamdulillah. Thank you for everything. I love you. Happy Mother's Day.
Received a call from a good friend today - she just found out her husband is having an affair . With 4 kids, and her sister's wedding 2 weeks away, this is the last thing on earth that she should be thinking off. I just met her about 3 weeks ago- happy updating me with her family stories. And now....its the opposite. You are a strong mom,P. Stay strong as your kids need you. I trust you know what is the best decision for you.
Friday, May 11
Mixed emotions..
This month is a very interesting month for me
Too many thing has happened which had made me happy, sad, upset
One day the graph goes high up
Another day it just fell flat
This morning I've got another news to spice up my life
I know, its going to distract me - make me busy thinking about it until 'we' succeed
Just got the news from the teacher in-charged,
Our final opponent last year during 'The' Tournament
Will be our first meet this year on the 28th.
Interesting huh?
Why do I feel
My ex-coach
Who is the 'new' coach for the organising school
Has played a 'BIG ' role
In making sure we meet S$P in the first game ,instead of in the finals.
To Dynamites
As I've mentioned to all of you last week,
A strong feeling in me is saying history of 1990 & 1991 is going to be repeated
But this needs to be proven with hard work, determination and prayers.
If I were you girls - I'll be more motivated
At least it will prepare us for the final!!
Dynamites - we are all counting on you now!!
p/s: Terus hilang penat bekerja 16 jam sehari for the past 2 days lepas dengar this news.
Too many thing has happened which had made me happy, sad, upset
One day the graph goes high up
Another day it just fell flat
This morning I've got another news to spice up my life
I know, its going to distract me - make me busy thinking about it until 'we' succeed
Just got the news from the teacher in-charged,
Our final opponent last year during 'The' Tournament
Will be our first meet this year on the 28th.
Interesting huh?
Why do I feel
My ex-coach
Who is the 'new' coach for the organising school
Has played a 'BIG ' role
In making sure we meet S$P in the first game ,instead of in the finals.
To Dynamites
As I've mentioned to all of you last week,
A strong feeling in me is saying history of 1990 & 1991 is going to be repeated
But this needs to be proven with hard work, determination and prayers.
If I were you girls - I'll be more motivated
At least it will prepare us for the final!!
Dynamites - we are all counting on you now!!
p/s: Terus hilang penat bekerja 16 jam sehari for the past 2 days lepas dengar this news.
Wednesday, May 9
Confusion+anger = Indulgence
I don't even understand myself most times
I love falling in love
I love the feeling of somebody cares for me
I love when he calls me and check on me
I love when hearing his voice
But
I hate it when if I'm in the mood to talk and he can't talk
I hate it when I miss him so much and he's too busy to entertain me
I hate it when he only calls and speaks to me only for 2 minutes or lesser and can't spend time talking more than that
I hate it when he calls only to say "How are you", "I love you" and "I miss you" - not more than that
And
I can't believe myself
Because of this
I refused to talk to him now
I refused to answer his call
I smsed him "Don't call me, I'll call you"
And I will only talk to him when he has the "quality and quantity" time to do so
As of now,
It doesn't hurt that much anymore
Its just that I'm confused why I'm behaving like this!
Is this normal?
Arrghhhh.....
Once, I asked my boss why is he so particular about the food he ordered.
His reply," The only thing that can satisfy us up to the standards and we can demand for , is our food. We can even choose, reject or refuse if its not to our liking. And we can't do that to other things in the world.With other things - we just have to settle with what we have. Most times, we give and take".
So, today, I went and indulged myself during lunch. It really did give me a very satisfying feeling and filling!! And that takes a big part of the stress away!! Maybe I should just fall in love with food only.....
The Award winning Secret Recipe's Irish Lamb Stew and the Excellent Chocolate Indulgence. I totally forgot that I need to lose some weight! Hahaha...
I love falling in love
I love the feeling of somebody cares for me
I love when he calls me and check on me
I love when hearing his voice
But
I hate it when if I'm in the mood to talk and he can't talk
I hate it when I miss him so much and he's too busy to entertain me
I hate it when he only calls and speaks to me only for 2 minutes or lesser and can't spend time talking more than that
I hate it when he calls only to say "How are you", "I love you" and "I miss you" - not more than that
And
I can't believe myself
Because of this
I refused to talk to him now
I refused to answer his call
I smsed him "Don't call me, I'll call you"
And I will only talk to him when he has the "quality and quantity" time to do so
As of now,
It doesn't hurt that much anymore
Its just that I'm confused why I'm behaving like this!
Is this normal?
Arrghhhh.....
Once, I asked my boss why is he so particular about the food he ordered.
His reply," The only thing that can satisfy us up to the standards and we can demand for , is our food. We can even choose, reject or refuse if its not to our liking. And we can't do that to other things in the world.With other things - we just have to settle with what we have. Most times, we give and take".
So, today, I went and indulged myself during lunch. It really did give me a very satisfying feeling and filling!! And that takes a big part of the stress away!! Maybe I should just fall in love with food only.....
The Award winning Secret Recipe's Irish Lamb Stew and the Excellent Chocolate Indulgence. I totally forgot that I need to lose some weight! Hahaha...
I want to go away
Lately, my heart ache is really, really bad.
Everything I do seems not right.
My job is giving me loads and loads of stress.
The graph in my 'stress level department' is going up everyday
And
To make this worst
I don't have anybody around to talk to
The person whom I look forward to trash this out daily
Is too busy with his life
Too busy to check whether I'm doing ok
Too busy to notice that I really need him to listen to me
I'm not surprised if he's angry with my behaviour
As I know its totally my fault
Acting the way I am now
I am to be blamed
I just feel like going away
From all this
Away ...
From everybody
Maybe I should hibernate.....
Everything I do seems not right.
My job is giving me loads and loads of stress.
The graph in my 'stress level department' is going up everyday
And
To make this worst
I don't have anybody around to talk to
The person whom I look forward to trash this out daily
Is too busy with his life
Too busy to check whether I'm doing ok
Too busy to notice that I really need him to listen to me
I'm not surprised if he's angry with my behaviour
As I know its totally my fault
Acting the way I am now
I am to be blamed
I just feel like going away
From all this
Away ...
From everybody
Maybe I should hibernate.....
Tuesday, May 8
Beware!!
I bought this Moschino T-shirt for only RM13 from a Reject Shop in JB. Cute huh? I think its true ...hehehe....
Sunday, May 6
AIM 2007 was excellent!!
Overall, AIM 2007 last weekend was excellent. From the start till the end, the performances were great. Performance by Search and Wings reminded me of our STF days - they still look the same!
But the one I love most - who else, Anuar Zain and his piece, Perpisahan. With the new hair cut, excellent voice, great music by the orchestra, I can't help to play this piece again and again and again.He always managed to make my heart melt with his songs.
Songs don't break our hearts.....people do.
To all, I dedicate this. Enjoy.
But the one I love most - who else, Anuar Zain and his piece, Perpisahan. With the new hair cut, excellent voice, great music by the orchestra, I can't help to play this piece again and again and again.He always managed to make my heart melt with his songs.
Songs don't break our hearts.....people do.
To all, I dedicate this. Enjoy.
Singapore and JB weekend!
It was a short, definitely tiring but great trip to JB and Singapore during the weekend. As I wrote earlier, I had to make sure that the girls are fit and ready for the National PPM this year. Insya Allah, if everything goes well...
Managed to steal sometime to go and visit my cousins in Singapore. The last time I saw them I think it was last year - can't even remember when actually. Didn't have time to go for any window shopping but ...the compulsory activity was...to eat. We had late breakfast at 10.00am, and lunch at 1.00pm. Maybe because I was down with flu and athsma for the past few days and had no appetite to eat, it was time for revenge.
Returning to JB to continue with the girls' training , Dalie and Hana had arrived from their shopping spree in HP (Holiday Plaza...remember?) Oh..nowadays the girls go for their outing in Angsana and not HP.
They amazed me with how they shop for handbags. I am actually planning to look for one which is suitable. So below are some options for me to consider:
Hmm...I think this is a bit too 'red' for me.
This one is nice but looks a bit too 'mak datin' style.
If I fill this bag with lots of things, it can turn out to be a 'pillow'. Soft and comfy..
Shining pearl colour with gold linings. bit too glamorous...
Can't even imagine if I use this one. Me? Using a bag with a BIG flower on it? The bag itself is beautiful. Too 'beautiful ' for me....No way...
.
.
.
.
Its kind of tricky as I need to find something which really suits me & does not look awkward on me. (without being laughed at by my girls-that is very important!) After all those choices, I decided as of now, I'm just going to stick with the one below. My SIL just gave me about 2 weeks ago. It has this 'basketball' look and feel.....
And the yellow bag was a free gift from AM Bank. I might also be using that soon.
Managed to steal sometime to go and visit my cousins in Singapore. The last time I saw them I think it was last year - can't even remember when actually. Didn't have time to go for any window shopping but ...the compulsory activity was...to eat. We had late breakfast at 10.00am, and lunch at 1.00pm. Maybe because I was down with flu and athsma for the past few days and had no appetite to eat, it was time for revenge.
Returning to JB to continue with the girls' training , Dalie and Hana had arrived from their shopping spree in HP (Holiday Plaza...remember?) Oh..nowadays the girls go for their outing in Angsana and not HP.
They amazed me with how they shop for handbags. I am actually planning to look for one which is suitable. So below are some options for me to consider:
Hmm...I think this is a bit too 'red' for me.
This one is nice but looks a bit too 'mak datin' style.
If I fill this bag with lots of things, it can turn out to be a 'pillow'. Soft and comfy..
Shining pearl colour with gold linings. bit too glamorous...
Can't even imagine if I use this one. Me? Using a bag with a BIG flower on it? The bag itself is beautiful. Too 'beautiful ' for me....No way....
.
.
.
Its kind of tricky as I need to find something which really suits me & does not look awkward on me. (without being laughed at by my girls-that is very important!) After all those choices, I decided as of now, I'm just going to stick with the one below. My SIL just gave me about 2 weeks ago. It has this 'basketball' look and feel.....
And the yellow bag was a free gift from AM Bank. I might also be using that soon.
Thursday, May 3
Public Holiday's mood
Hmm.....
# 1st and 2nd May were Public Holidays, but not for me. I spent both days working at night and sleeping during the day
# Ammar Kareem and my sist in-law had gone back to the UK on 1st May after a 3 weeks holiday. Arriving at the airport, when Ammar saw me, he ran towards me with his arms wide open, makes me really sad as I know he was just starting to enjoy his stay here. He just had to do that to make my heart break again.No need for him to say, "I'm going to miss you Aunty"
# Just found out a heart wrenching story from my sist, makes me more sad of the way things are happening in my family. Are we beng too nice and too trusting until people are taking advantage on us?
# I've been stuck too long in my apartment - will be going to JB and Singapore this weekend to release some stress. More important, to make sure my girls are tip top. Nationals are only 3 weeks away. Would not want to spoilt the opportunity to be the champ this year - yes, Insya Allah.Hope fully my gut feeling goes parallel with the girls effort and spirit to win.
# Congrats to Srikandi on our very own blog!! Looking forward to read all the contributions.
Note: Ammar, aunty is going to miss you so much. I've got nobody to hug and kiss until I see you, next trip baby!! I can just hope and pray you will still remember me..... ( I hate saying good byes.....how hard I try, there will still be tears)
# 1st and 2nd May were Public Holidays, but not for me. I spent both days working at night and sleeping during the day
# Ammar Kareem and my sist in-law had gone back to the UK on 1st May after a 3 weeks holiday. Arriving at the airport, when Ammar saw me, he ran towards me with his arms wide open, makes me really sad as I know he was just starting to enjoy his stay here. He just had to do that to make my heart break again.No need for him to say, "I'm going to miss you Aunty"
# Just found out a heart wrenching story from my sist, makes me more sad of the way things are happening in my family. Are we beng too nice and too trusting until people are taking advantage on us?
# I've been stuck too long in my apartment - will be going to JB and Singapore this weekend to release some stress. More important, to make sure my girls are tip top. Nationals are only 3 weeks away. Would not want to spoilt the opportunity to be the champ this year - yes, Insya Allah.Hope fully my gut feeling goes parallel with the girls effort and spirit to win.
# Congrats to Srikandi on our very own blog!! Looking forward to read all the contributions.
Note: Ammar, aunty is going to miss you so much. I've got nobody to hug and kiss until I see you, next trip baby!! I can just hope and pray you will still remember me..... ( I hate saying good byes.....how hard I try, there will still be tears)
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