Tired and different

Today,...I had to work 12 1/2 hours. From 6.30am till 7pm. And I'm too tired to write .

And today also, a colleague of mine who just joined about a month ago, asked me, "Don't you have a life? You also look different from the others girls" .When I ask him , what makes he said that...he was not able to answer that directly.

I asked him, does 'different' means 'weird'? He said no but he was still not able to answer my question.


I rest my case...

Perfume? I don't think so....

I had a bad experience last week. Somebody, tried or managed to rubbed something on my wrist. Something which smells sweet and nice like perfume. Well, according to him, its a new perfume which he bought in Dubai and he wanted me to remember him with it. Yucks....You can't force somebody to remember you by putting perfume by force on us.I remembered the smell was really strong - I didn't have to put my nose near to my wrist I could actually smell it. I tried to rub it off with a tissue, and immediately after reaching home, I washed my hand and also made sure I scrubbed it just to make sure the smell goes of! Scary huh! That's not that scary yet. Wait till you read the rest.

On Sunday, I had nothing to do - just lying around while watching TC. Since they didn't have anything interesting on, I switched to NTV7 (I think) -and they were showing the Crime Scene series but it was in Chinese. It was quite interesting eventhough can't understand most of it but there was subtitle to help me out.

Then they showed one section about 'Chloroform'. Oh my god - it seems that nowdays, in a lot of cases , involving rape and murder, Chloroform is widely use to make the victim ' weak'. It seems that, from their simple explanation, it smells like perfume and can be mixed with perfume . I was just staring on my TV, and just realised that I was damn lucky to get away with it. Well, it might not have been chloroform coz I was not able to confirm it, but then , why in the first place a person would force to put a perfume on us if he could just ask? It seems that Chloroform can make a person feel tired, dizzy and have a headache. And if its used more than a certain level, it can affect the brain and leads to death. Now, is that scary enough?

More details about this can be read here

Alhamdulillah....thank god nothing happen.

I love 3R

Oh yes...I am one of the 3R fans out there. I think 3R is very informative and something different which provides ideas, suggestions, assistance, informations and quite a number of things to a number of people out there , especially women (when it first started but I guess some men do watch it too).

Other than the TV series, you can also visit their website. They have not been updating their website for quite sometime. But today, I noticed the difference. And I also came across this article 'Let the 'taklik' do the talking' by Rafidah Abdullah. It is very interesting and informational for whoever who is going to get married soon, or are considering of getting married. A lot of us may know about it but we might not know in detail.

I believe it should not be used to take advantage on the husbands or the wives but more of in making sure that both parties are aware and be reminded at all times that there is an agreement put in place !

Give it a read and I suggest you come up with your own legal docs. You might not know what will happen in the future, right? Nowadays, 100% love can't guarantee you with anything...

Meeting with Strangers -Part 2

A day after I wrote my blog 'Meeting with Strangers', I came across another experience which I can't resist but to write in today's blog.

Ok...I met another new friend yesterday after we've communicated thru a number of smsses and phone calls. Why did I want to meet this person? I think he sounded professional and somebody who respect another person.And definitely friendly and warm. So there I was, meeting him for the first time at an undisclose location.

We talked about work and life. It was very interesting as we talked about the business he does, my customer service related work and also the common things we have. During the session, I also told him there are some things that I don't feel comfortable talking about and feel that he should respect that. Well, I guess he didn't. The situation was heading to an uncomfortable one for me, until I had to excuse myself to leave. Moreover, I have not slept for the past 20 hours and he's reaction was giving me shivers down my spine.

I think we started off really excellent until the final topic. I admit I'm not a perfect Muslim, but to do what he's doing and to agree to it, is definitely a NO-NO, especially when he's a Muslim too. I've a mix feeling of angry, upset, sad and confuse after the meeting. Did he actually want to meet me because he thinks that I might be 'another one' that would agree to his doings? It makes me feel really sick until I feel like throwing up!

Addition to that, a stranger called me yesterday. She's not a 100% stranger but more like a 'familiar stranger' who had entered my life a year ago, dissapeared after my separation and now she's back. Yeah, she was the one who 'took' my ex away. Well, I've forgiven her, but definitely how could I forget, right? She called. Yup..you heard me - she called my mobile yesterday when I was driving back home from work.

Guess what? She wanted to talk to me about him. Yup, about my ex. She's complaining about him to me and asking my opinion and advise what she should do. Woah....this is a bit too weird for me.I wasn't upset or angry anymore, its more of this weird feeling with questions like, "why is she calling me and asking my opinion on my ex-hubby?" and " is this a plot or a strategy of trying to get me back in his life?" Oh no...its definitely not going to work. No way. But then, maybe she really needs help. Maybe she really loves him and does not know what to do.

This is tough. The truth is, I feel like helping out but I don't know whether should I or not.When she told me about her problems, part of my heart is saying , now you feel what I felt earlier. But another part of me is saying, pity this girl. She should have not face all this problem. I don't know.Maybe somebody out there could give me a good, rational advise. We ended up on the phone for nearly 30mnts!

I know! I can't even believe myself that I'm talking and trying to help out this girl! This is soooo weird, so awkward. I know I was once a National Service trainer and looking forward to help others all the time, but to help someone who actually hurt me once badly, is beyond what words can describe. People might think I'm crazy.

Not only that, she also wants to meet me - soon. She said she had wanted to meet me for quite sometime already but she didn't think I would agree to the idea. Well, I have met a number of strangers lately, therefore shouldn't be a problem meeting another one now.

By the way, she's not not just a stranger, she is 'the' stranger who came into my life a year ago!

Moral of story 1 - I hate to say this, but this guy added up to my statistic about Malay men
Moarl of story 2 - this girl might end up from an enemy to become a friend and I can't believe I'm saying this!

Meeting with strangers

Lately, this past few months, I got to know quite a number of new friends.I repeat new FRIENDS. At last, and these people, are outside of my current circle of friends (colleagues,basketballers and SKs).

Frankly speaking- I met these people thru the internet. Yeah.I know, do not trust and go out with strangers (Sofia reminded me again and again about this especially with foreigners.Thanks Sofia.I'll remember that). But I think, for now, Alhamdulillah, so far everything went well i.e I get to meet these new friends. Yup, I did went to meet these people in person.

Few things I learn when talking to them thru the phone or even meeting them in person. I would like to categorise them into people:

a)Who just want to get to know new friends like me

b)Who wants to have 'fun' (until now I don't know what's their definition of fun and I don't think I want to find out)

c)Whom at first will go out as friends, and by the second meet - declared that they like you a lot and would like to proceed to another level of the relationship - this usually scares me

d)Whom you kind of like this person, but he seems to be too busy with his 'daily activites' and you don't really know what is his 'daily activities' are

So far, all these people that I've met , are foreigners and they have been really nice to me keeping in mind that I still have to be careful at all times. Well, partly because my friends advised to meet them in 'public places' which I think its funny for a 32 year old to receive this advise. Anyways, thanks for reminding.

One question raised by a friend: why am I going out and meeting ONLY with foreigners? Isn't there anymore locals/malays to go out or make friends with? Well, the answer is easy - its because the locals are too choosy with whom they want to go out with.No need to explain in detail.

Another question raised: haven't you heard of these stories in the newspapers about all this murder and rape cases? My answer: Either its foreigner or Malaysian, and either its in Malaysia or another country anything can happen at anytime if we are not careful. Insya Allah, I always believe, if our intention is good, hopefully nothing bad will happen.

Anyways, we are in Malaysia, our own country , now. If we dare to meet new people overseas, why not here?

Perhentian again?

I don't care if people might say that I live in the past. I just got these photos from another friend's memory card, from our last trip.I am sorry about his camera as he totally forgot about it and swam in the sea with the camera inside his pocket!


Looking at these photos, is like a playback of video shots in my head.Yeah the sweet memories. Which reminded me of my dream job (still dreaming about it till now) which is to work with a resort walking distance from the beach.

More photos here

Sleeping issues...

A friend had been calling me since Monday to ask me out for dinner with an old friend whom I have not met for the past 15 years. As this week I'm working 12 midnite to 10am again, when she called, a few times I was sleeping. Sleeping during odd hours makes you feel irritated when your phone rings (because I sleep when people are wide awake)so most of the times its always on silent.

Well, with God's will, she called me up yesterday morning again, right after I finished work - and I agreed to meet her and the others for dinner last night. I was thinking that the whole dinner idea was not a good idea as I definitely did not have enough sleep. But it turned out otherwise. We managed to do a 'short' window shopping trip to Clarks as she needed to change her newly bought shoes and after that straight went for dinner at the Kluang Station cafe. The food was good, the ambience was just perfect for the 4 of us sharing some sweet memories of school days.

I haven't met K.I for the past 15 years after we left school. She looked 'wow'. Thinner and better than in school days.Then J introduced me to JJ, whom is a Yoga instructor.I managed to get a few tips from her on when is the best time to sleep to prevent all these pimples from coming out. One thing about working graveyard shift is even if you have enough 7 hours sleep during the day, you will still have breakouts on your face. Then she explained....we need to sleep from 11 to 1 either during the day or at night to prevent these breakouts. It seems that our body is like the moon - this is the most suitable time to have a good deep sleep.Hmm...that explains why is it so difficult to wake up at 1am.

Then I told her, about my problem. I always fall asleep the moment I put my head on the pillow.All my friends who knows me, have been complaining as most of the times, I can just fall asleep when we are talking! Then she said to me, "Do you know that you are one of the rare ones. Nowadays, its very difficult for us to go to sleep as we keep thinking about a lot of things happening in our lives. But for you, you managed it perfectly that it does not disturb you when you are going to sleep . That is good!"

Okay.....and all these while I thought I was the one who has problems. Like one of my friend said, I am like an electrical item - can be switched on and off at any time!

I'm obsessed with the sky..

Everywhere I go, I love to look at the sky. The colour, the texture of the clouds, sometimes it just gave me this feeling of 'Wow! I wish I could touch the clouds.'

The colour of it, gives me the feeling of peacefulness and calmness when I'm stressed. My perfect situation will be lying at the beach, looking at the sky and listening to the waves.
Or going camping at the mountains, lying and looking at the sky.

I also noticed in winter, the clouds are much lower and covers the sky.Where else at the seaside, usually less clouds can be seen.

Maybe, if I could fly like Superman, I'll be in the sky most of my time - loving every minute of it. I guess, if I can fly with Superman, its even better! heheh...

It also keep reminding me that God is really great with His creations.

Below are some of the photos I took - focusing on the sky. I tried to take some shots at night but it didn't turn out nice. The closest I got was the sunset in Snowdonia,Wales.



The sunset...


The first light..in Snowdonia.It was breathtakingly beautiful.

The clouds in London...

During winter...

In the morning...in Ashford just before it snowed.

On a nice, sunny day...

In the evening of the same day...

One morning at Perhentian island...

Clear blue sky at lunch time...

Not the usual shots

Usually, I take shots of other people.These are the only few photos, of myself , alone, that I have. This was taken a year ago without me noticing it actually. My cousin was testing my camera.Maybe I was thinking hard of something at first, then considering it, and at last found a solution for it! Notice the smile?

Some of the excellent food I've had

I'm thinking of approaching my blog in a different way.Maybe each time, I will put in at least 1 photo.For a start, I love to put the photos of food that I've had.

Below was the first meal we had in Cologne. Looks delicious huh....especially when you are hungry and its one of your favourite...




Below is Salade et fromage in one of the cafe in Cologne.They couldn't understand English, thank god I understood what fromage is....




Deep fried potatoes from one of the kiosk, also in Cologne. It was really nice and crispy.The kiosk was only selling fried potates - 3 types if I'm not mistaken.

The famous pie in one of the town in the UK - can't remember what's the name. Have to go thru my diary again.It was excellent.

We had this for one of our lunch in Cologne. It was from the Nord Sea cafe. Fish fillet served with macaroni and cheese and tartar sauce. Yummy....my kind of food.

Aha! And this was the best among all. Breakfast at one of the cafe...the pastries and buns was excellent.Look at the size of these pastries that we ordered.

Argghh....no...these photos are making me hungry.Especially when I'm working 12 midnight to 10am.

Flirting around with strangers

One of the shots I took in Birmingham....nice huh..



My work involves dealing with the drivers of the other countries to arrange with them to go to the customers' addresses either to deliver or collect items. Since we are dealing with another country, we have not seen these colleagues of ours personally - its only done through the phone. One of them has been known to be quite a troublemaker by everybody in the office - except for me.
I don't know why - even though he's not in a good mood sometimes due to the workload and stress, but he usually treats me well and speaks to me really, really nice compare to others. So now, if there's any job needs to be done by him, my colleagues will ask me to call him.

Today, before I left the office, I had 2 requests to call him for a collection in the morning for tomorrow. Its kind of difficult for drivers to confirm whether morning or afternoon during the day because they have not finalised all the orders for the day. So, I told my friend, if this guy said yes to both jobs (which I know is impossible)- then I'm going to say, "love you!" And my friends dared me to do so.

And guess what? He said yes to both! Unbelievable! And in return, I did say "love you" to him just for the fun of it .Hehehe.....But I put down the phone before he could say anything.Well, what can I say, with the same , regular thing that you need to do everyday, you need to find something to motivate you to go to work.

The best part...I don't even know how this guy looks like and he's already got a son in Japan! I guess he must be quite old....

The past few days...

Hmm....I have not been updating my blog for the past 1 week or more I guess.Maybe nothing interesting to write.Or maybe too many interesting things has been happening and I don't know which one to write about. Let me see, since I'm also having this 'memory ' problem lately, I think I'll just have it summarise for my future readings and laughs.

SK president invited us for dinner at her house on Saturday. The menu? Satay, the famous char kuey tiaw, rendang and also ABC. Hmm..yummy...K.Anis brought brownies from Secret Recipe- excellent choice of dessert.I was just thinking that morning that I would have to go on a diet for the coming 2 weeks.Well, I can postpone that till Monday..hehehe...

On Sunday, I went out to watch 'Click' by Adam Sandler, one of my fave actor, with K.Ana and the kids. At first didn't feel like going as I'm more into sleeping now most of my free time, but the kids insisted.What can I say, I didn't regret watching it and I think it has quite a few things that we can all learn from. I cried watching it! arghh....

In my office, there is this new guy who just returned from training in the UK. And guess what - they started gossiping me with him. Not again. The previous one which I was gossiped with had just left for UK and now this guy. I don't know why me....please..... Maybe I'm being too nice to these people....I don't know.

I've also registered a house phone line -not that I will be at home most of the time to receive calls but more for the Streamyx registration purposes. And what I love is the number! It also ends with 5567 like my mobile. (as if anybody would be calling that number) I don't care. Its for my own satisfaction. Oh yeah..and soon, Insya Allah, I will be having a PC at home. My very own PC. Hmm...more time to write my blog and upload photos.....



I went thru my photo collections in the UK last year and I found this one:


not bad ehh...for me to take the shots with my normal digital camera. I like the colour of the sky in London at that time.


I've also added 2 new friends to my life which I got to know from the net(I know..again!). Well, I haven't met them both , but have spoken to them on the phone. They sounded nice and friendly bunch of people. Maybe one day I'll meet them in person.

Today, I'm supposed to meet somebody who stood me up twice. I don't know why am I still patient with this person. I've argued with him, I've told him off, I've scolded him...and yet I still agree to meet him today. Let's just wait and see today, if he does not turn up by 4.30pm sharp - I told him not to even call or sms me anymore. Thank god the other 2 meetings ended up me going window shopping - it wasn't that bad actually.The moral is -always have plan B to fall back on.

Let' s see how today ends...

Shots...

Some of the photos taken last weekend.....how I wish my office is just walking distance from the beach...

It was grrreeeaatttt!!!!!

Wow! It was amazing! It was great! It was perfect! It was excellent! It was beautiful!

My trip to Perhentian Island last weekend, with some friends was really, really, great. Eventhough it was just a 3 days 2 nights on the island and 2 nights travelling on the bus (for economical reasons), I would say it was one of the best, memorable one . Actually, I was a bit sceptical about the trip to be an enjoyable one for me as this was my first ever trip with some friends. But it was all proven to be totally opposite as I really did enjoy myself, and had a great time being with them.


What did I do? hmm.....its not a long list but was a meaningful one .

I almost jumped off the boat to snorkel in my effort to catch a glimpse of a turtle in the deep blue sea. (Please bear in mind that I don't know how to swim and I was using a lifejacket!) What do you expect me to do when the guide shouted "turtle!" and the whole group just jumped out of the boat and there I was the last one! Not only the turtle, looking at the fish swimming near the colourful corals-with nemo and parrot fish and others -it was amazingly breathtaking and calming.

I managed to get Awin to go canoeing with me (despite of I hurt my back the day before and had problems sitting, standing and walking). We canoed to the far end of the island, enjoying the different shades of blue and green of the sea and stopped at a secluded beach which we named as 'our beach', had a swim and returned. The experience of canoeing at the open sea for the 1st time was really , really excellent. I'm so deeply in love with the sea and the fish that I feel if I knew how to swim, I would have no doubts of jumping out from my canoe and swim.

I also managed to get the feeling of being part of the 'divers' when I accompanied Awin to register for her dive and listened to a bit of the briefing done and got to know some people there. I am definitely going to take the SCUBA license soon, Insya Allah.

I managed to get to know Sylvie from Switzerland and Kevin from China as they were there to do their dives. oohh...I got to do this soon. People from all over the world is here to dive and me? huh..still no license.

To Pip, Farah and Awin - thank you from the bottom of my heart for the whole trip experience. It might not be perfect for you guys but I had fun and hope you guys enjoyed it too.

I guess, this trip was the best ever birthday present I gave myself since 10 years ago!

Words can't describe my trip....more photos are at http://spena15.blogs.friendster.com/
Its just partial, will update more photos from other cameras.

23 or 32?

N said: Spena, just go all out and enjoy yourself. Don't think too much about what will happen in the future - just go with the flow.If it makes you feel good...then enjoy it while you can....

E said: When Superman beckons your attention, you know it's time!!

F said: It's not about not being able to get over the past relationship, it's about letting your heart to trust again, be at risked again, be vulnerable again. Are you ready for that?

R said : you need to open up yourself. Don't live in the past. Just go out and explore and be yourself....

P said : Why must you care about what others said? As long as you are happy and people around you love you for what you are, then have fun while you can. Anyways, the worst had happened....what else can it be?

K.N said : Sometimes you will drown first before you can enjoy a better life in the future. It depends how fast you recover and pick up the momentum again....

Today, turning 23.....oops..I mean 32, and have been doing some crazy things lately, I plan to to be more open, to live life to the fullest. I do admit there might be times I'll be depress again but I'm not going to sit down and make it worst. And also Alhamdulillah, thanks to Allah, I'm still here to help others and hope to continue help in other things too. I hope to be here another another one more year, Insya Allah.

To my friends :

the ballers - RD, Azarul, Ska, Rizals, Zue, Farah, Pip, Hussin, Syariz, Awin, Ryzah, Fauzi, Shar, Jai and others..(the NPNG team)
the kids - TF DYNAMITES and MC CAGERS
the new kids on the block - Raj, Williams, Ken, Nino, Ralph.
the Srikandis - K.Wa, K.Sue, K.Ana (and family), Hana, Lerque, and the whole lot
the sisters - Esty,Faiez, Peng, Nik,
the ex-colleagues - Liza, Ayu, Nura, Sulip, Li Yen, Laily
the rest - Sam, Azmi, Andy, Punes, Brojen, Brother Yusuf, Nur, Michal, Elena, Aline, Peter, Rueben, Elaine, Magda and the rest of my ex-classmates last year
And definitely my family members...

I LOVE YOU ALL and really glad to get to know you people. Appreciate all your support to me for the past one year through my downs - whether you guys realised it or not. THANK YOU.

To Jules - thank you for calling me all the way from Kuching at 12.10am and sang me 'the song'. That was very sweet of you.Terharu I.


Now....I'm going to get myself busy.I have another year to face with new challenges coming in.

Hasta la vista to 31.....welcome 32.

Have you?

Have you come across moments when you are sitting in front of somebody , talking to this person, and you just feel like staring at him? You like the way he looks, he's appearance, the way he talks. Just looking at him makes you feel relax and you think, I repeat that you think and you hope that he will be there for you and be a good listener ? And he might be your new bf?

I have. Last night. Looking at him, I know , deep in my heart, to trust and to believe in another man ,to proceed into serious relationship, is damn impossible, but to be his friend - anytime, anytime at all.

p/s: rebound relationship is bad for health....but until when?