Perfect life?

It has been 2 days since GJC ended. The ache and pain from our Tug-of-War has also subsided. Thank God!! While driving to work just now, I felt the pain again. This time, its the heart ache.

Another major event has just ended. Last month, it was the basketball tourney. And this time round, its the GJC.And every time, every single fucking time after each event, I will definitely feel sad.I will feel empty. How I wish I have that somebody around to listen to me and my stories, my experiences, the hardwork, the ups and downs.

Yesterday, my horoscope reading said that I'm expecting something which is impossible to achieve, impossible to get.I know we shouldn't believe in all these readings. But..it snapped me out. There's no such thing as a perfect life in this world.Am I just being too careful? Or am I just stupid to let go of someone who has shown interest on me out there? Why am I pushing him away? I don't know....

Some people are happy out there - even if they know their relationship is wrong. But, what is the definition of wrong and right nowadays? I might say it wrong but for other people its the right thing to do. You might do something which is wrong but it makes you happy. And you might do the 'right' things, but you are still sad and feeling empty.

Sometimes, I think, do I just want to go ahead and enjoy life and totally ignore whether its right or wrong as long as I am happy? But then, again, Allah has given us brains to think and religion as guide, faith and hope as strength. As He promised, there will always be good things for us in the future - as long as we are patient.

Patience is virtue.....but for how long can I hold on to it?

Tonight, my sister, her hubby and baby, is leaving for the UK for a 2 weeks holiday to visit my brother and his family in Nottingham.I am happy for them.

How do I feel personally? ...Don't even ask. Is this my destiny? I don't know. Sometimes,..I just wish that I've a friend who can listen and understand..that's all what I'm asking and praying for.That's all. but again, there's always limitation and challenges to it.


Ya Allah,please make me stronger everyday - I'm begging you this. Please make me focus on the kids rather than myself. Amin.