Yesterday, I really wanted to write but I didn't know what to write.
Today, after reading the July Female Mag, I came across this feedback by a reader which is very interesting.
'I too married a cheat!....... Nowadays, I think, only 20% of men are not cheats. Men, I feel, cannot leave with one girl only. They will never be contented. The best thing you can do is be strong and fight for your man....(if you still want him, of course)'.
How do you know whether your men is cheating ? Being through marriage life earlier, gave me some ideas about it. Well, some of the things that I read from books and magazines are also true.
Examples...
-you had to come back from work early due to you are not feeling well and suddenly when you are at home, your hubby return home surprised to see you there. When you asked why did he return home early-he didn't answer.
-your hubby came home, not expecting you to be home, out of a sudden just took a shower and went back to work
-you saw your hubby's phone, the MMS he received from a guy's name, has a girl photo(not that you check his phone but he could always check ours)
-at home his phone is on vibrate - I thought vibrate mode is only for office meetings.
-he has never turn down any offer to go on a holiday(even if he had to take unpaid leave), and suddenly this time he said 'Oh..I have no more leave'
Sometimes, I really don't understand. Myself for example. I have never said no to polygamy as I believe the more you try to stop them from doing, the more they'll turn and do it behind your back. But in the end, he still cheats.
The reason was - "oh...I can't tell you because you will be angry at me"
Who will not be angry?Who will not be upset? That will be the first reaction of most women. However, depending on different individuals, and when its up to me, I allow. But still the cheating game went on.
I decided long time ago, I would not want to get involve in the game. No way. I've given you the chance and you did not take it. I do not want to live pretending there's no problem.
But not everybody's the same. Like the reader wrote, "The best thing you can do is be strong and fight for your man" I did't want to fight for my man as I don't have the heart anymore. One trust after another was taken as an advantage by him. And its not easy for him to earn the trust again.
What I want is to be strong and fight for my life. I want to fight for my feelings of being in love and not pretending.
It is so heart breaking when you are being cheated.....and I do not understand the feeling of them who can just pretend like nothing is happening in their lives...
Unless..they don't know that they are being cheated again and again.....
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3 comments:
Kak Spena, i believe u've heard ppl talk about 'a wife's/mother's guts feeling'? well, i believe in that.
that's how i understand some wives feel (not caught red handed yet, but just 'the feel') that the hubby's cheating. i haven't married, so i can't comment much. but having had experience with guys in my life, i somehow could relate all these.
:) it never ends, isn't it? *sigh
Some people don't mind the denial Spena. I have first hands experience of a woman in denial. The worse thing is... how can she live knowing that her husband is in love with someone else? And pretending not to care, and just dismissing that thought as if it's just puppy love.
Spena, well said. I've been there, but not actually done with it. I like this post. The moment I read it, it sparks me zillions of ideas to write on my blog. True:on the cheating game going on and on. True:on the trust being burnt again and again. True: on being taken advantage. True: on not everyone is the same. Also true: on be strong and fight for your man.The difference in my situation is that the anger was not there when talking about poligamy.
May I get your permission to link this entry to my new-post-to-be?
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