What if we are a divorcee with 2 or 3 kids and the divorce that had happened was not our fault. Yes, as a mother, most mothers usually put their childrens' future first.Our family first. Falling in love again was not a good option. There is a higher risk the new man in our life might not be able to accept the kids. There's also a high risk that we will be falling into the dreams of our own world and might forget the greater responsibilities of raising the children. Then, say bye-bye to the relationship.
But what if we proceed with the relationship? As a normal human being, we have the tendency to fall for people who care for us. We are just humans , where emotions play an important role; not like robots.
Then the next question is, if the person we fall in love with :
a) Is a bachelor. What would his family say if he marries a divorcee with children? He might just tell them off that this is his marriage. But the pressure is on the spouse later by his family members... Mental and emotional torture.
b) Is a divorcee with or without children. This would be ok, most times, less problems from both side provided they could afford to raise up both parties children
c) Is a married man, who could afford 'financially and others' to marry more than one? The man might either tell you the truth at the very first level of the relationship or he might even lie to you. Whatever it is, he could afford it.If he had lied, he would definitely have a strong reason(the usual excuse) why he did that.
- If he had told you the truth or he has always been transparent, it might be our fault to still proceed with the relationship
-If he hadn't told you the truth and we not knowing he's married, its not our fault to proceed with the relationship
But whatever it is, again, there is a high possibility their wives do not know about us.
If we are in their wives' positions, then we are the one who are cheated.
But if we are on the opposite (and their wives still not knowing about it), we are the ones who make the men to be cheaters.
And , there is a famous saying - what goes around, comes around. You either being cheated first, or later.Well, I know some people would say we they don't want to be cheated or feel bad about it, so....why wait? Might as well they do it first.
Just something to think of. Scary....and definitely sad as this is happening in the current lifestyle.
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4 comments:
Yes Spena, sometimes sickeningly scary. For me being in this situation, I'm going ahead with the divorce regardless... In fact I keep on preparing myself to face the future alone. Better alone than with bad company. Perit nak ditelan but macam mana, I made the mistake of marrying the wrong person.
Meen, maybe a lot of people says that we married the wrong guy, we got married at a young age and the list goes on.Its just because things did not happen as what we've planned.
Just imagine if things go well, our business growing,manage to get a bigger house and so on..people will definitely start saying something else. Then, we might have other issues.
Why did I get married young? Because I've always wanted somebody in my life. Don't know about you..but in my case, I know I can't live on my own.And I needed somebody 'legal' to hang out with.And I still do.
We all support you Meen- just do what's best for you and the kids too.I can always babysit your kids...hehehe..
I think, there's no need to have regrets. We never knew what will happen in the future. When we decided to get married with (whom we thought was) Mr. Right, we could only use the information available at that time.
What's important is we do the best we could for the marriage and kids. If things take different turnings or both of us suddenly have a change of hearts, we have to be prepared.
this is part 2, so there's part 1. i'd surely want to go and read on that. will definitely do that.
cheated.. hrmmm. in my case, i am not sure whether being cheated would reflect my situation. I'd like to comment on the option (c). If it's me, I'd tell the guy, please talk to ur first wife. If she cannot take it, then the possibilities to go on will be tough. If already decided to say no, then peritnye kenalah accept not to continue the relationship. Yes, i know cakap jer senang. So, what if he doesn't tell, we quietly do that, oso can. In doing this, we have to really mengalah, in the sense that everything will go to the 1st one. Not the second because we do it discreetly. I've known a person who is the 2nd. The 1st doesn't know about this. She's happy because she got something that her 1st marriage cud not provide -kids. So for her, the hb x spend time, pun tak per.
On another perspective about being the lady who is involved with a married man. If decided that the relationship cannot go on, please don't ruin other people's marriage. Jangan la dok gatal-gatal push lagi that guy. That guy dah decide jugak to stop. Ini yang masalah about this kind of lady. ye lah, people would say that u have the title 'J' and enough that our society buat memacam tohmahan. Nie la, kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga. (this is my situation where the bugger keeps bugging)
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