2 more weeks....

2 more weeks and Syawal will be here.
What do I want?
Nothing.
Except for Habibi to be here with me. Then only I will be celebrating it.

So for now, for that to happen, it is a miracle.

3rd year. Yes, its been 3 YEARS already.
Unfortunately some people just don't understand.
And he kept sending me sms.
The recent one is "terkenang kat awak........ at 4am!!"
What the &%$#? I was still sleeping!!!

A friend asked me, tak teringat ke kat dia?
My answer is easy, " after all the chances I gave, after forgiving him on what he had done, after allowing him to marry her,and yet he still lied to me, my heart was crushed to the smallest bits and pieces.

And my new heart is with somebody else now. 80% of it.
The other 20%?
It goes to diving, basketball and my job.

You have no more room in it. So, please understand.
I'm not telling you to give up.
I'm just telling you not to waste time.

p/s : I'm sooooo excited. Its about 30 days only to Habibi's visit.

Cikgu sayang saya tak?

While we were about to have teh tarik early this morning, as I was about to seat, I received a call. Mind you, this was at about 3 in the morning. I saw the number, it was from somebody whom I did not expect at all as there was no news from him for the past 1 1/2 years.

It was one of my PLKN students. I did write about him which I have written as him being like an 'adopted son'. I always remember him compare to the rest as he always make time to talk to me and kononnya 'bermanja' and mengadu.

When I got his call this morning, I was worried. Worried as I know his history. I know what he was involved in, even when he was in school. He had told me everything even though I only spent 5 days at the camp. I managed to gave him some advise. Not much for a 18 years old, after all he had done, he has been through. But I've done my part and just pray for the best.

We started talking by asking each other's health and questions about job. Then he was asking me about my ex-as he knew I was married then. Told him the truth, he apologised for asking. He told me that recently, he 'accidently ' got involved with something that is not good. He was release after finding out that he was not involved with it.

He also told me that he met with an accident sometime last week. The conversation went well until he asked me,

D: "Cikgu bila nak balik Terengganu? ( they call the trainers "Cikgu").
Me: La cikgu banyak kali dah balik tapi D sombong. Tak contact so ingat dah tak tau kerja mana.
D: Cikgu balik Terengganu meh lah jumpa saya.Saya bawak cikgu jalan-jalan.
Me: Insya Allah.kalau cikgu balik, cikgu gi jumpa D.
D: Cikgu tak rindu ke kat saya? Saya tak ada awek lagi dari dulu. Asyik teringat kat cikgu je.
Me: Cikgu ingat kat D. Mana boleh tak ingat anak murid .Bob pun ada contact cikgu jugak. (Bob is his close friend)
D: ok..Cikgu sayang saya tak?

I did not expect that was coming.
This boy has a 'not so good' history. To let him go, on his own and just not care about him, might lead him doing something bad.
If I were to give attention and care to him, with the way he asked the questions above, it might lead to him thinking of 'something' else.
And if I am going to treat him as normal, but he misunderstood it as something else, and when it comes the time for me to 'go', he might turn to the wrong things again.

So, what do I do now? Why did he call me at 3am?

I need advise please.