I'm not crazy.......maybe at times

Some of the the 'crazy' things that I've done in 2007:

- I got to know new friends from the internet and meet them personally. This was sometime in January. I wouldn't call it as 'dates' as it was just a once or maximum, twice meet. I still remember one of my gf advised me, "go to public places, ok?" .... I just wanted to meet some new friends. And I ended up meeting 2 s.africans, an iranian and a french. I've stopped doing this in February.

-I went all the way to Cork,Ireland in March to meet somebody whom I just met only once last year. I know, I know, it was dangerous but I guess, it goes back to our 'nawaitu' and hope for the best. If we don't have any 'bad' or 'naughty' intentions, insya Allah it would work out fine. Both of us were taking some risks, I guess. And alhamdulillah, it went well for both of us.

-I stepped out of my comfort zone again. This time, I sent in a 6 pages 'feedback' letter to some people so that something can be improved in the office.

-And....I fell in love again. Something that , if anybody were to ask me 2 years ago, I would say no. Or no way. Or its impossible to find love anymore. But I did. I am in love with this guy who fell in love with me first, and never give up on me. He is so optimistic and always believe things will be ok for us. And he's not even here.


When I think about what had happened to me, a friend of mine said something which always stick in my head;
"Our lives in this world are just temporary. It is just lent to us by Allah. We have to make the best out of it (with HIS guidance) and at times, we have to accept it either as a test or as a reward from HIM. More importantly, nothing is permanent - nobody can own anybody else 'permanently'. What we need to do , is to go back to the basic teachings and accept it wholeheartedly. And when we do this, we do not need to pretend. We do not need to pretend that we are happy, but we are not. We do not have to pretend we love the person, but we actually don't. We will just be ourselves and and accept it."

As for now, Alhamdulillah, I am happy, I am in love and not pretending. (only at times, my PMS will take over my mood....argghh.) . I am going back to basics which I know a lot of people will not understand me as they might think I am crazy. I just need to have faith. This is my decision. To another person who was my good friend sometime back(if you read this), please understand that I am not like anybody else. We've travelled together, we've worked together, we've had fun together. I'll cherish that. But I am not like you.I am different. I am not able to follow your footsteps, your ways. If it is because of my decision it makes you upset and angry with me, and you refuse to be my friend, I'm sorry. There are also some things that I didn't agree with what you did, but I didn't say anything as I know we are adults and we know the consequences.

Maybe, one day our paths will cross again.