In the next few days, we will be celebrating Eidul Adha - or Hari Raya Qurban. Well, this year I will be working as it falls on a Thursday. Last year, I was lucky as it was on a Saturday and I managed to get a cheap AA flight back to Terengganu where the celebration is much more fun.
I've been thinking. I did not manage to get a share in joining my family to do the 'qurban'.However, I am thinking to do a different qurban this year.
I am going to let go of my precious one. You know , like the one in the Lord of the Rings...."my precioussss"...
Yes, he is my precious, my love. But I don't think he thinks of me the same way. He will never be able to do it. I want to let him focus on his 'real' love ones. I want to let him go.
Why am I doing this? My explanation is simple, you cannot promise me anything. You cannot guarantee me anything. And it is not fair for me to take your attention away from your family, even though if it is only 10%. And more over, since you cannot decide, what does that makes me then?
The important thing is, I do not want to steal you from your family.
And I do not want to be an invisible person too.
The decision makes me sad.
But I always believe, with the right niat, it makes me feel relief. As I know the decision made is not for me.
It is for you and your family.
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Not important to many but precious to her as it is all about the number of moments that took her breath away....
My tune
My family
My team
My love
My plans
1st Sept - 1st Ramadhan
6th - 7th - hibernate in my lovely crib
12-14th Sept- Tioman here I come
19th - 21st Sept - Kg.Raja, Besut with Tok
26th - 28th - Bangkok, jalan-jalan cuci mata
6th - 7th - hibernate in my lovely crib
12-14th Sept- Tioman here I come
19th - 21st Sept - Kg.Raja, Besut with Tok
26th - 28th - Bangkok, jalan-jalan cuci mata
My Story
- Spena
- KL/JB/Kg.Raja, Malaysia
- Years ago, I planned everything in my life to achieve my goals. Now? I am just going one day at a time, enjoying every minute of it.As long as I reach my destination, it doesn't matter which route I take. For now, I don't have any destination. I am just on transits.
My wishlist
a) To travel more . In the list are Bangkok, Krabi and Chiengmai
b) To dive at Perhentian and Sipadan
c) My girls to retain the title for 2009
b) To dive at Perhentian and Sipadan
c) My girls to retain the title for 2009
My favourite readings....
- Tony Fernandes CEO Blog
- AirAsia - Just Plane Thoughts
- K.Lynn's LYNN
- Mat Gebu's Dapur tanpa sempadan
- Muzie's - Nitrogen Addict
- Gombak4life
- Najib's Hapy Ending
- Yan -Wildthornberry
- The Rainmaker
- Alan - And his cats
- Dr M's - Anaesthetist's life
- Happy cakes
- Bakawali - The cool Dr who dives
- Seademon's -The Respected Diver
- Guile-My lovely new friend
- Daphne-Dare to Believe
- Ardy -His anatomy
- Bob's Corner
- Cepe's - The Sea Inside
- Pi's Twist
- Turn the page
- The story teller
- osmansany.com
- kennysia.com
- Rudy- My talented photographer friend
My lovely Srikandis
- Zasya's - Discreetly Exposed
- Zara's - Life in Germany
- YMY - My ex-basketball team mate
- Yan's -Malaysian Wife,Australian Life
- Srikandi Tun Fatimah
- Ryzah's-Once upon a time
- Odie- The Working Mama
- Norzu's-What's in my head
- Ninie's- Yoga Instructor Diaries
- Meen's - Jazzma Tazz
- Lila's - A Zing of Lila
- Leym's-Socc3RBl0g
- K.Shana - Wherever you are
- Idlan's-Oranised Chaos
- Ibu's- Cerita Ibu
- Halwafy-The Malaysian Housewife in London
- GG's -shud i or shud not
- FaiezSpeaks- Reincarnated
- Esty's own Esty
- Dodent- Kuroi Kumo
- Dilla's-Blogging.my.brains.out
- D.N.A.S-The red sandal diaries
- Chics in Red
- Arn's-Seri Langkat
- Aneez The Queen
- Aiz's- family, friends and cats
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The things or topics that I write here are related to me and my feelings . Currently, there's no other better option to release my stress and share my feelings other than to this page of mine. It acts as a loyal, good friend, who listens to whatever I have to say.
14 comments:
With great powers come great responsibility. That's what Uncle Ben used to tell me.
Now I'm just your friendly neighbourhood spiderman.
I hope you have thought deeply about your decision.
Well Ardy, I believe you have heard the saying 'If you love somebody you let them go. If they come back to you, then it means they are yours.'
Don't worry, I am ok. Insya Allah.
At a certain level, it is difficult to say 'I Love you'
At the next level, when you keep saying 'I love you'to often and there is no futher action, you need to do something.
I'm in the comfort zone and I know I am taking a risk.
A big one.
Good luck sis... hope it's for the best.
p/s If you're around on raya haji, do come over for brunch ok.
I just hope you do not lose faith in love, and in man. There are good man out there, and there are nice man out there.
So how about doing OWD with me this February?
kak spena....
it's heart-breaking to read your statement of letting go.
i've been there and done that.
i truly understand your stand and feelings. anyway, my prayers are with u. insyaALLAH with good intentions, the path will be clearer to us. be strong kay
Ryzah,..brunch sounds good. Btw, I start work only at 3pm. Sempat tu...
Ardy, lose faith in love - no. But it seems to be that aku mengalah cepat nowadays. I'm just too old to play this game of tarik tali and kejar2 anymore. If nak- ambik, tak nak, sudah.
tissot - I know. We all do. Cuma we seems to get better handling our feelings everytime it happens again and again. Takdelah bengkak2 mata macam dolu-dolu.
And the dangerous part - we becomes more heartless through out the process
dear spena, i have a feeling that eventually, I will have to do a certain sacrifice as well. But yes, we do need to move on and learn to let go. If they love us enough, jodoh is always di tangan Tuhan.
Spena,
Nowadays no need to use tali, just grab whatever you want and hold onto it with your dear life. Anyway, let's go to Ryzah's around 10am for ketupat and rendang then head to Rizal's for Nasi Dagang around 1pm.
Ardy - I thought I managed to grab to whatever I could, but unfortunately I don't have the energy to hold on to it. And 10am at Ryzah's sounds good.
Sigh!
Everybody's going thru some kind of sacrifice. Somehow I have not given up loving her, and I will continue to love her for as long as I can, and for as long as it is humanly possible.
I know I am not giving myself any chance of being happy should anyone else comes along, but I love her too much to not be there to catch her if she falls.
As I pray to the Almighty that if this is a test for me from Him, so be it, but I am only asking for one outcome from Him: the chance to love her and make her totally happy as mine, for the rest of my short life.
I, too, hope that your Habibi will come to his senses and go back to you.
Looks like a gathering at Ryzah's place for the sacrificed lambs is in order.
Meen- I totally agree with you.
SD -I love him too much too. I love him like crazy.But I love myself more , and I don't want to be hurt everytime. Especially when I know the answer is in his hands.
Well, I did make him happy all this while and there is definitely no regret at all.
Like Ibu said, jodoh tu di tangan tuhan.
spena dear,
*hugs*
what is more important is that you have no regrets for the past. with no regrets, you can lead your life better. and i do agree with Meen, jodoh di tangan tuhan. you can stop now, deny it or reject it, but if it is meant to be, then it is meant to be. just redha and tawakkal. need to makan2, lemme know ok.
*hugs*
hi k.spena..u sound sad. but though the saying 'if u love him let him go, if he comes back his yours' has become old, it still holds true to its meaning.
what?! he's already married????
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