I miss my date(s)

I'm still in that mood.
Not depressed.
Not happy but not sad too.

This few days, I feel there is a big part of me is missing from my life.
I keep telling myself to always remember that he loves me.
Even though he's not physically with me, his daily calls and regular sms makes me feel as if he's here, somewhere in M'sia, working hard, and will come back to see me soon.
As he promised.

I know, and I trust that he will keep his promises. Insya Allah.

But as a human who has feelings,
I miss him so much.

To some of my friends out there, not that I don't want to go out with you guys,
nor I refused to chat like we used to earlier,I just want to have sometime on my own.
I am still not ready yet to go out and meet people other than my colleagues - who do not know much about what I've gone through.
I have this thing inside me which ,the moment I open my mouth to share the good memories,
my eyes start watery. (that explains why I sent an sms meant for Habibi to a good friend ; I couldn't see who I replied to- damn embarrassing!)
I hope you guys understand.

Anyway, thank god I'm working night shift the whole week. I hope to sleep the whole day. I'm also taking this opportunity to replace some of the 'fasting' days. I have 7 more days to go. That's a lot!
And Alhamdulillah, I have these sweet 'dates' for break fast - which reminds me of the sweet memories.


p/s: I feel like eating sate - we had that as our dinner the night before he left. Yup! I miss you a lot, Habibi.