Macam-macam dah jadi

Remember the jabs the doctor gave me about 4 weeks ago? Well, my ear pain has long gone but the pain in my left butt or hip to be precise is still there. Not really pain. Its just that I cannot do activities that stretch my left hip such as lifting my left leg to wear the trousers, or to try to put on or take off my socks. Even during solat, I'm not able to sit properly during tahyat akhir.
It feels as if the muscle on my hip stretchhhhh.argghhh..... macam bontot kena cramp.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tadi after buka puasa, aku gi jalan2 kat IOI Mall nak cari heavy food coz buka pose makan kurma je.Lepas makan, jalan-jalan. Aku perasan banyak betul mat gelap kat situ. Bersepah. Yang buat aku amazed is they all ni loaded tu. Ramai gak yang minum kat Starbucks.

Teringat pulak aku 2 1/2 tahun lepas masa belum kenal Habibi. Hmm....aku rasa aku adalah 'keluar' dengan 4 or 5 of them. Memang loaded. Dan desperate.Tiap orang cakap nak cari calon bini. Giler apa?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Since afternoon, aku dah start sakit tekak bila telan air liur. Bad sign. Usually it will lead to selsema. Bulan pose ni leceh if sakit.Susah nak baik. And I've got classes back to back from Thursday lepas cuti Nuzul Quran till Friday next week. (including Saturday, ok!)
Pikir punya pikir, off I went to Sushi King. Not that I wanted to eat sushi but more of wanting to eat the wasabi. Bancuh soyu pekat2 dengan wasabi, cicah sushi and makan. Hidung rasa nak tercabut and menitik gak lah air mata. But...it worked. The sharp spiciness cuts thru the pain in my throat.

Alhamdulillah, now the pain dah hilang.But I need to get extra rest too tomorrow. Just incase.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I miss Habibi so much. There's a lot of things in my mind lately and that makes me miss him more.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Island trip, friends, job, blog - That's a handful!

I've just finished packing. I don't need to bring lots of things but the problem with me, if I don't plan well, I would be bring half my wardrobe for only a weekend outing :-)

Will be leaving for Mersing midnight tonight, plan to eat sahur in Kluang and then take the 6.30am boat to Tioman. YES!! I'm going to the island again this weekend with Mr&Mrs Seademon and also Rina.

For me, this year's Ramadhan is a HUGE change than last year's. (so far lah up till today). I was not given a chance to be alone at all. Maybe for the 1st 2, 3 days. But after that, takde chance lansung. My boss, Fa*hana, just refused to let me go and buka puasa at home alone. Especially when I told her that twice last week, upon driving back home for buka puasa, I dozed off while driving! So from the next day onwards, she insisted that I buka puasa with her either in the office or at a nearby restaurant before allowing me to go back.
And the lovely Ayah & Ibu- SD& Jazz kept inviting for buka puasa sessions.

I guess Habibi is also happy and thankful that I don't feel lonely and sad. He's thankful to my friends for keeping me company . 34 more days to his return. I can't wait.

Meanwhile, my life at AA is getting busier each day. Other than being part of the Program Development team, my boss has also enrolled me into a "Ha*vard" certification program for Trainers which will take about 2 months to complete and it will start in the next 1 or 2 weeks time. It is an online program - knowing myself, I'm going to have a tough time completing it!

I also need to write and contribute to AirAsia's blog. (hehehe...haven't submitted anything yet). Oh, btw, I was going thru Tony's blog and found out that his next project is the Asean Basketball League! I am soooo excited!!

I guess there's a lot more for me in store. It is true - its not easy to stay positive but once you manage, one by one , things will fall in place, Insya Allah. I cold just pray that Allah gives me the strength to do all the things I love and enjoy. Amin.

One day at a time...

27th August - yup, that is today's date.
Only 4 more days to our fasting month, Ramadhan. For the past 3 years, other than happily fasting and losing weight, it has always made me sad. I really don't know what to expect this time round. The truth is, I'm not ready to be sad again.

I strongly believe that fasting month is a special month that we should spend more time with our loved ones. Especially during 'bersahur' , 'berbuka' and 'solat tarawih'. And without all that, it makes me sad. There are also some changes in my life this year which does not help to improve the situation at all.


The differences are:

:-( A friend whom I regularly hang out to have McD for 'sahur' last year is now married. He's definitely not into eating McD for sahur anymore
:-( A group of friends who made me laugh while we had supper together last year have also made their own ways.
:-( I am not working on shifts anymore. This makes a BIG difference as I will need to be home for buka puasa.

And no, I have not done and not planning to do any preparation for Syawal. I still have the old baju kurungs which are still nice to wear. And there are no comfortable shoes out there to replace my old, comfy CLARKS shoes that I got from the UK 3 years ago. (I have big feet ok and the stores in Msia don't have my size!)

The only plans I have right now are:

;-) to stock up on cornflakes and milk for my sahur. Yes! I'm going to have this only everyday.
;-) to 'fly' to either to Jakarta or Bangkok during the weekends just to kill time. Or at least back to my grandma's place (Perhentian sounds good too!)
;-) to 'ganti' my puasa before Syawal ends (as what I have done for the past 3 years).

I hope the 30 fasting days will fly really fast as there are TWO things I look forward after Ramadhan ends......

Habibi is coming home.
And I'm going to Sipadan.

For now, there are 50 days to go. And I need to face this one day at a time not thinking too much of the details.

I fell in love again...

This morning I had another swimming session. I'm impressed with myself now coz I can float! (self motivation konon....) . Tomorrow there's another session. Can't wait for it.

Then I headed to IKANO.
Had brunch in Starbucks. Its been a while since my last visit. One, because I don't have the time anymore, two, because the budget for visiting Starbucks has been chopped of from my monthly expenses. (last time mewah, buat OT giler2).
The service there, it has never failed my expectations. Those guys are always friendly and cool. The food - Triple Decker Sandwich was really great .Love everything there.

After that, I went to IKEA, as planned earlier. From a reliable source, once this SALE ends tomorrow, there will be a price increase of about 30%. Got to get the things for my crib.

Suddenly, I saw him. The prince. The good looking prince.
And I fell in love with him instantly. I offered him to come home with me. He said ok.
And he said, from now onwards, he promise to be with me all the time.


My new prince.
I love you my frog prince!!

Am I ready for this? I've got butterflies!!!

Only 3 more days before I leave for Redang for my Open Water Dive. By Friday morning I will be there)

As I have written before, I started dreaming of diving since February 2003 when I went to Sipadan for the 1st time and started writing about it in this blog since 28th Oct 2005 which I wrote under the title "List of things to do". Not only that, the other thing which is in the list is swimming and currently I am learning that too ;-) And 3 years after writing about it, the time has arrived.

Excited?
Yes

Scared?
Yes

Nervous?
Yes

I wish I could share this moment with Habibi who continously encourages and supports me in achieving my dreams. Unfortunately he is thousand of miles away.

Even though he's not going to be with me, I will be wearing the wetsuit, mask & snorkel, the booties and also fins which he bought as a present for my birthday. That is a way for him to make sure that he will always 'be' with me.

I miss you, Habibi.

The season has ended...

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real.

But only for a season .....

While my guy is transferred to a new place,

my great friends are also moving away at about the same time.

Maybe I should leave too.......

Even Anuar Zain's songs are not helping

How could you listen to Anuar Zain's songs and not feel anything at all towards your love ones? Most times, listening to his songs, it makes my heart hurts. As if somebody's squeezing it hard.
(Btw, he looks a little bit tembam tonight during the Jom Heboh concert)

*****************************************

How I wish for some people who has their love ones around, to treasure them and love them and enjoy the relationship as the days go by.
Please remind yourself that you are lucky, comparing to others whom their spouse/partner is not by their side.

*****************************************

Just remember, your partner comes in a package. Nobody is perfect. And there is no such thing as a perfect plan too.

*****************************************

Me: Do you know that I love you very much?
Habibi: Yes I do. I love you too.
Me: Do you want me to wait forever?
Habibi: No Habibati. I promise you , the time will come very soon. Insya Allah.

*****************************************

At times, we just need to be alone.
We do have wonderful friends. However being with friends, sometimes make us miss our love ones more.
Sometimes we could feel jealous too.
And that hurts more than just being alone.

*****************************************

My graph is going down.
I MISS YOU.

I'm all set to dive....

I started dreaming about scuba diving right after my holidays in Semporna and Sipadan in 2003 (thanks to AirAsia it was only RM120 return trip). But then, since I was a very obedient wife, therefore it just stayed as a dream.

After 5 years, my dream is coming true. Soon.
But this time, not only am I diving for leisure, I might need to dive for work purposes too.

Alhamdulillah, now I am ready.

Thanks to Seademon for the continous advise and assistance....

Thank you Habibi for your continous support and understanding ;-) I LOVE YOU

When routine sets in...

2 nights ago, during our usual 'weekdays' online date thru YM Voice chat;

Me: Habibi, when are you coming back?
Habibi: (raising his voice) you know habibati, we've talked about this a few times.
Me: But Habibi, I'm asking because I miss you.
Habibi: you know I can only return in Oct. Why do you keep asking?
Me: Is it wrong for me to ask? We are already into a routine thingy here, I wait for you to come online and we talk and talk and later ended our call with exchanging good night wishes. I just wish that you would answer me by telling me you've changed your plans and would like to come earlier than October.
Habibi: What's wrong with telling you not to ask again?
Me: Let me repeat myself. We are going into a routine now. People get bored easily with routine. And people take for granted when it becomes a routine. And I don't want that to happen to us. I don't want you to take for granted that I am here. Do you want me not to ask you anything and just don't care whether you are returning or not?
Habibi: I am sorry Habibati. I am not taking you for granted. If I can return earlier, let it be a surprise. I am hoping that would happen. I love you and I miss you a lot too.


I don't want to be the 'routine' couple. I will be worried if our relationship becomes a routine. Then it might become an obligation instead of love.

Aahh....and that "I love you" phrase from him. The way he says it, it just makes me love him more.

Oil price goes down....

Habibi said today the price of oil went down tremendously ( an update from his company in KSA which produces oil). It is due the 5% increase in production .

If they increase in production, then the price will go lower (hopefully). But this is where I don't want it to happen. Increase in production means hardwork and more work for them. Which means more work/long hours for Habibi too.

For this, I am being selfish - I don't agree for him to do extra work. Now itself he's already doing a 6am-6pm job daily.

Give us some quality time to talk to each other, please!

Step 3 and away....

Alhamdulillah, I managed to complete my 1st class this morning. At first I was so nervous. Things like when water gets into my mask and reached the nose, and when my ear drums feels like bursting when we did our 1st 'dive' in the pool at a depth of only 10ft made me panic. But after a while with the help of my instuctor, Major K*e, I handled it well. I'm looking forward to the next class on Wednesday. I should have done it 4 years ago.But then, things always happened for a reason. So, no regrets. Better late then never.

Next class is on Wednesday.

***********************************************

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh kau bisikkan
dan hapuskan semua sesalku


Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu
sempurna...sempurna

***********************************************

Do you know how much I MISS YOU?

Step 2

While I was driving to mom's place in Shah Alam this morning, it just hit me that I am NOT staying in Shah Alam anymore. Until end of last year, I've always tell others that no way I am going to stay outside of Shah Alam. I guess I changed my mind.

*********************************************

To answer to somebody's question, yes, I bought this unit. I owned an apartment previously with my ex, but I've sold that off to buy this one . Alhamdulillah.

*********************************************

And tomorrow, I'm proceeding to Step 2 - I'm starting my SCUBA class tomorrow morning. I can't believe after 4 years of putting it on hold, THIS IS IT. Under water world, here I come.

*********************************************

And all these good things happened with the help from Habibi. Even though he's not here with me, his spirit and love is always around and motivate me to move on. Oh! and yes, thanks Habibi for the 'monthly petrol sponsorship'......I LOVE YOU.


p/s: To a male friend who is going to meet his gf's dad, don't be too nervous. You are a dad to a few girls, as much as you want the best for your daughters, so does your gf's dad. Just go with the flow.

Slow done, LION?

Image from Allposters.com

This was what written for my horoscope for today in FB:

Take as much time as you need to get your presentation in order. If you've been meaning to do something to improve your life, now's the time to do it. There is no use keeping yourself in a rut; get out and experience all that is around you. It is time to slow down an intimate relationship.





Time to slow down an intimate relationship?? It is damn right. Not only slow down, I need to freeze it for a while!


p/s: How can I do that when LEO lives to love and be loved all the time?

The LIFE I've chosen

Is this the life that I want?
That was the question posted to me before he left.
As tears rolled down and not able to say a word; I just kept quiet.
In my heart I was trying to shut down and trying not to miss him.
Trying not to feel anything.
So that the tears would stop.

I don't know, to be exact.
I don't know what I want.
As a normal human being, I know I want everything.
Which is impossible.

Having him in my life for the past 1 1/2 years made a BIG difference.
Picking up the bits and pieces.
Made me forget of the bad things which had happened.
Teaches and motivates me to be strong.
Alhamdulillah.
But everytime he comes, and everytime he leaves;
I failed to stay cool about it.

What makes me sad?
I don't know.
Maybe what worries me is what if we won't meet again?
What if things happen ?
His advice was as long as 'panjang umur' we will meet.
But what ever is written by Allah in his books, there's nothing we could do.
Honestly, it scares every single bit of me.

I know he loves me a lot.
And I know he is a very responsible man.
And I also know he will be there for me.

Its just that he can't be physically with me all the time.
His promise was to visit me twice a year.
More than that? He said he'll try.

Until then, I need to stay strong.
I have to be strong.
I must be strong.
And now, I'm still lying flat on the ground.


I know, this is the LIFE I've chosen.
My daily prayers are to make me stay strong.
Everyday. Insya Allah.

I love you Habibi.